It is obvious that each person posting has strong opinions on the hold back issue. These discussions will not change anyone's opinions and show one side is wrong and the other correct and talking about it here is not meant to change anyone's opinions. I think we all know that. I think the people who post here on this issue can be split into a few categories. There are some who criticize hold backs because those hold backs in those parent's minds took their kid's spot on a d1 college roster, they got less money from a college, did not make a club team, they are making excuses for their own kid's short comings etc. There are also people who dislike hold backs, even though the hold backs have no impact on their own kid, because they feel that it is a cowards way to get better and instead of working hard to be the best they decided to take the easy way and improve by holding back. This a disgrace to some people especially those parents who were athletes themselves, their kid is a great athlete playing the proper age or both. On the other side there are parents who hold a kid back to get a competitive advantage because the kid is not doing as well lacrosse wise as those parents would like playing with kids the same age. There are also parents who hold a kid back for academic, social or other legitimate reason not associated with lacrosse. All those people posting here on this issue know which category they fall under that makes them feel so strong on this issue. Be honest with yourself on which category you fall in. If you are honest with yourself you will be able to understand the other sides position much better than you do now. If you are not honest with yourself you will never understand the other sides position and you will continue being delusional like most parents out there.
Problem is, parents think their kids are way better than they actually are. Therefore when Junior doesn’t get All County and a spot on the Duke roster they blame holdbacks, but it’s just the kids lacrosse ability holding him back.
You are correct there are some who criticize holdbacks because they think their kid got cheated by an older kid. But there are also many who dislike holdbacks because the parents believe that holdbacks took the easy way out and got better by holding back by making themselves older rather than working hard to succeed. I don’t think you can say all parents who criticize holdbacks do it for the same reasons. I think probably more do it because they believe the hold back is taking a short cut to get better. Also many believe it is a form of cheating even though under the current rules it is not cheating.There certainly is no one size fits all universal answer to explain everyone’s motive for criticizing holdbacks.
Bottom line, the problem just isn’t that prevalent. The holdback kids who are getting spots at Duke, UNC and ND would be there regardless. The parent who is complaining, there kid was never ever an option.
Why hold back if they have the same results not holding back? You know that holding back gets kids in better schools. So stop. Also not all parents complain because their kid can’t make it into a top school. You know that too. Some are Disgusted with people who take short cuts and will never respect a hold back because they think it is better to work hard and not take the easy way out. Either way who cares what people think. If what people are saying about hold backs bothers a hold back parent then maybe what they are saying has some truth. A kid can hold back and get into a top school but don’t think that everybody is going to respect them and praise them. That is OK. A parent should not need anyone else’s praise if you are a holdback parent. Do what you have to do for your kid. Either hold back or don’t. It will always be a topic to discuss.
ironically, you care what people think, that's why you're on here. People disgusted with others people's choices? That's what it's about? So if I'm disgusted about who you voted for or your decision to get vaccinated or abortion rights or immigration I'm morally superior? Holding back does in fact get kids into good schools, schools they would have gotten into regardless, unfortunately the most vociferous parents, such as yourself, think that spot should have gone to their son. If he's at a low-level D-1, a D-2 or D-3, it's because he was never going to UNC or Duke. But keep lying to yourself.
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