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Boys Recruiting Thoughts and Help for the Masses

Moderators – if you feel this should be a different new thread, feel free to move it.

I apologize ahead of time as this is a VERY VERY long post so I left a TL;DR summary at the top. There are also likely errors in this so I welcome any corrections. I also suspect these thoughts may hold true for the girl’s game but I don’t know anything about girl’s recruiting. Yes I have too much time on my hands now the kids have moved on

Yes, I am posting this as anonymous – I’m not notIntelligent (haha). This may generate a lot of thoughts, positive or negative but the point is to get a discussion going because I find there is very little actual recruiting help on these forums. I am sure many of the replies will be “bitter parent” “Ok Rebel Parent” or “team91 parent” or “Stunad” or “legacy dad” or “your kid graduated, why are you still on these forums you creeper”, etc. This is just one person’s opinion as someone who has gone through it (kid was a middie, on-age who ended up in a good D3 school) but had some D1 looks / offers so maybe this can be used to help others (or maybe I’m a coach……..). If you feel the need to comment, try to post something constructive. If you don’t like the post; scroll on by.

You may agree with 0%, 50% or 90% of it. It is important to note that these are just generalizations on a Bell Curve; there are always exceptions to the rules: there are some who got recruited way above their pay class and there also talented people who fell far in recruitment. This should apply to most but there are definitely outliers where people have forged their own paths. Tell us your stories!

For those whom this is TL;DR

1) Talent and connections trump everything, which leads into…
2) … Be realistic about your kid’s ability.
3) Some of you feel like you are running on a “Hamster Wheel” when it comes to recruiting. Find out what “Hamster Wheel” you want to be on – don’t be afraid to change wheels midstream
4) Be cognizant of how much you are projecting your own hopes and dreams onto your kid – don’t be that parent.
5) Have fun – to be perfectly honest, if you are at the level where you are hoping to be recruited, I am not going to sit here and say having fun is the only thing that matters because that is BS. That being said, having fun is still important whether it be lacrosse, long road trips with your kids, having a meal with them, visiting colleges – all are fun.
6) Whatever college or trade school you kid ends up in, it will be perfectly OK in the end
7) Don’t believe what everyone tells you (including me). What may have worked for someone else may not work for you as I can guarantee you kid is so very different from everyone else.
8) Lacrosse is finite – don’t make short term decision with long term consequences. It is Ok to sacrifice saying your kid got into a low D1 school with poor academics for the sake of being D1 for a better academic D1 school that has club, the MCLA’s or better academic D3 schools


Soooo, moving on these are the factors that I think of importance (from most to least) to get recruited:

1) Talent – trumps all – if you are a superstar, most of this does not apply to you. If you don’t have as much talent, try to be realistic about your high level D1 / D3 dreams. Be very realistic about how your own child grades out. You may think they are superstar but if they haven’t competed against the National Stage where the competition is the best, you cannot really know how good your kid is, even if everyone tells you they are the best. Be as objective as possible; rate your kid on a 100 point scale. Most players who are 93+ have a decent chance at a high D1/D3 school. Anything below that, it is going to be more difficult to get into the top schools and don’t punch way above you kid’s weight class when it comes to recruiting. However, there really is a lock for every key and if your kid really wants to play lacrosse, there are 400+ schools out there to play at. If you don’t have connections or talent, you will have to market the garbage out of yourself – go to showcases, prospect days, make good videos, email (the appropriate amount), sign up for recruiting services. Honestly, most of those all have minimal impact unless you have the connections but it’s all you got at that point.
2) Connections (High School / Prep School or Club) – my kid went to several prospect days for schools as well as sent several emails to schools and he never heard a peep from any of them until a coach reached out on his behalf. I truly believe that this is the most important beyond talent. Coaches at all levels are getting hundreds of videos and thousands of email. They simply do not have the time to review them all. Having a coach call or email, allows you to jump to the top of the food chain (think Chutes and Ladders).
3) Your kid’s High School – there is line somewhere that separates the elite schools from the run-of-the-mill high schools. If you are below that line, unless there is an individual connection, your chances of an elite D1/D3 school are slim to none without that connection. That being said, your high school play is still important for recruiting for the other D1/D2/D3 schools because it is your high school coach that knows you best.
4) Your kid’s Club – same facts hold true as it does (#3) high school. I often get asked what club team should I chose. To be honest, I would choose the best, highest ranked club and try and get on their A squad at as young an age as possible. That way the club knows you and will go to bat for you. In addition, if you don’t make the top team, it gives you a chance to look for another club that may suit you better. That brings up the topic of A vs B. In reality, most B teams are not sending players to top D1/D3 schools (some are but that is not the norm). If being at a top lax school is not your goal then A vs B doesn’t matter as much because plenty of B players play college lacrosse. Finally, these clubs are in the MONEY MAKING business as most are for-profit. They will sell you a bridge to nowhere as long as they get your tuition checks. Some are outright frauds. Some put together some half -hearted attempts at recruiting. Others really only promote their best players. Finally, there are some truly excellent programs who will do their best to place a kid anywhere whether it be the best D1 program to the worst D3 program. Coaches will tell you they will help you with recruiting but the reality is they do not want to put their name out there to back you if there is a lacrosse:talent mismatch. So if your Johnny rates as an 80, don’t ask your coach to get you into Syracuse because they won’t do it. It is a shame that some clubs promise you the world but don’t help you even though are paying $2000-4000 for your club; for them to not help you is just fraudulent. How to tell if a club is real or not? Look at their website. A good one would post a list of ALL their commits, not just the ones who get into top D1 schools which usually means they had a favorite player. Look at their social media. Are all of their posts only about 1-5 of their top kids? Finally, word of mouth – talk to the older kids and kids who have moved through the program; not the superstars but the average ones who had college lax dreams.
5) Prospect Days – this is the best way to get in front of a school on an individual basis. However, many of these are pure money grabs. We have been to several where no one was filming, coaches had no paper or they were not writing anything down. Clearly no evaluation was going on. It does allow you to get in front of the coaches and look at the campus. But I am somewhat cynical because if you were not already on their radar, a coach didn’t send you, or you were not invited, it is unlikely to be helpful.
6) Showcases- There are so many showcases out there. Many of them are money grabs and really garbage showcases. How do you know what is a good showcase? I wish I knew the answer to that but I can say that if the showcase has a good list of head coaches then it is going to be pretty good. If the communication is pretty good, then that is also a good sign. I will throw it out there and say good ones are Showtime, The Players Series, Spotlight, ECD, Lacrosse Masters, Main Stage, NXT. Then there are the average showcases (3D, adrenaline, apex, my lacrosse tournaments, Elite 100, Elite 180, GFW, Q4, Victory, Maryland Showcase). UA and National All Star Games are very good but very political. What is important to know is nobody is going to be “discovered” at most of these. Coaches usually have a list of players they are there to see. Finally, no one cares about wins and losses so don’t be that parent.
7) Recruiting video – coaches are getting hundreds of video so they may never even open your video. That being said, video is still 100% necessary in this day and age of recruiting. If they do open it, you want your intro to be brief and you want to front load your 5-star highlights. Some say don’t use music; my feeling is they can always mute it. Try to film your own video. Much of the paid tournament videos offered are expensive and very poor quality. It is a pain in the butt to film your own highlight video but you will have a much higher quality video that is zoomed in appropriately. Iphone and imovie work perfectly fine or invest in a cheap HD camcorder. Some of the biggest mistakes I’ve seen: inappropriate offensive music, not zooming in on your child, including highlights that aren’t highlights, not highlighting your player (you know your kid so it’s easy to pick out for you but most coaches, it’s pretty hard to pick up to the player in that 4 second clip). Some say, don’t make it longer than 2 minutes; my feeling is most coaches aren’t watching past 1 minute and if you give a 6 minute highlight video they can always just shut it off.
8) Position – kids are specializing more and more (SSDM, FOGO, LSM and goalies). If you are really good at your position, you stand a very good chance. If you are mediocre, you better show that you can do other things. At the Prospect Days, I have noticed more and more defenders and less middies. If you are on defense, that stinks because I think that is also the hardest position to get recruited at. If you are not looking high level, none of this is as important
9) Recruiting profiles (NCSA, SportsRecruit, ConnectLax, CaptainU) – these are likely only helpful for the mid-lower Tier D1, D2, D3 schools. The top schools will not or do not use these services – they do everything through connections.


Additional comments, myths and facts?

1. I am assuming that most people “try to punch up” with their recruiting (ie they will try and overachieve with their lacrosse ambitions) so be patient, be realistic and don’t be disappointed. There is a “lock for every key” as there are over 400 lacrosse colleges. If you really want to play lacrosse, you will find a school.
2. Re-class – there is so much detest on this forum about re-classed players. Unfortunately, it is here to stay until colleges and clubs change their mind (USA Lacrosse has zero ability or desire to change this). Colleges and clubs don’t want to change because they want the most mature and physically gifted players so they could care less that your kid is on-age. Some kids re-class for legit reasons (maturity, academics). Some also re-class to try and get into a better school. IMHO, re-classing is destroying the sport but it’s here to stay. It is completely unfair but totally within the rules. Why on earth would someone re-class for lacrosse reasons only is beyond me. I can’t imagine how dominant my kid would have been if he was going against kids 1 -3 years younger.
3. Lacrosse players are not getting a full scholarship: Full scholarships are uncommon and most will only get a very small amount of money
4. Lacrosse is finite: I think lacrosse carries on forever whether it be a playing in beer league, coaching, raising your own kid, etc. But in terms of a career, very few people go on to make a living out of playing lacrosse. Lacrosse has a finite end and for some it ends after high school; some after college.
5. Commit vs Preferred-Walk-on vs Walk-on – I know very little about this. All I can comment is that if you are a preferred walk-on you are on the team but you don’t always travel. If you tryout and walk-on, there are generally very little chances or spots at the high collegiate level but probably plenty at the lower caliber school
6. Prep vs Private vs Catholic – depends what part of the country you live. Not all preps are lacrosse powerhouses nor are all catholic schools. There are a few public schools that carry a lot of weight but chances are your high school does not; you will know
7. PG – from what I have been told, do not PG unless it is arranged ahead of time with a college who specifically said you should PG. There are plenty of PG’s who PG but do so without a college talking to them. They still eventually get into lacrosse schools but it usually is not a step up to playing for Duke / Virginia / Syracuse / Yale etc. That being said, some need to PG for academic and maturity reasons.
8. How often should I email a coach – I believe coaches are getting hundreds of emails. Chances are, they are not going to read or even open your email (at least at the high D1 or high D3 level). That being said – maybe once a month and always have some sort of update whether it being lacrosse or academic.
9. Don’t be that lacrosse dad or mom. Honestly, be quiet. Don’t coach your son on the field. Don’t yell “wheels” “ward” “offsides” and ride the refs. Coaches do actually notice this. They don’t care so much at the collegiate level because they can limit the parent’s sphere of influence but somewhere in the back of their mind, they are wondering if the apple doesn’t fall from the tree when they are recruiting. No one cares that you were once a superstar or failed athlete. Everyone can see you are projecting who you once were or wanted to be onto your child
10. The Grass is Not Always Greener (See Clubs above) – it’s OK to be a club hopper. Just make sure that is because there are faults with the club and not faults with you or your kid. Most cannot tell the difference sadly. If you do go club hopping, make sure you latch on to one before high school because making the change after high school is very difficult
11. The New England and Long Island used to be center of the lacrosse universe. That is no longer the case. I believe it is currently the MidAtlantic but areas such as the South (Fl, GA, TX), Midwest (Il, MI) and West (CA, CO) are producing amazing players along with New England and LI.
12. D1 vs D2 vs D3
a. D1 – I think a lot of kids can play D1 as there are some D1 schools that are not as competitive out there and would be happy to take all sorts of talent. The only thing I would advise is don’t go D1 for the sake of going D1. D1 is also a full time job so they have to juggle academics with their lacrosse
b. D2 – they do offer scholarships. Some are great schools and great lacrosse programs but academically I have found academically, they are not as good as some of the D1 and D3 schools
c. D3 – I do not believe they offer sport scholarships but will offer other scholarships. Even though D1 is a full time job, D3 is also very busy especially in the spring. The main difference is the 20 hours in the fall that D1 has that D3 does not but D3 still practices in the fall. D3 probably has the largest cohort of schools from incredibly competitive to very mediocre.
d. MCLA – do not overlook these schools. Some are top academic institutions (Stanford, Rice, GaTech, etc)
e. Club lacrosse – also do not overlook this. Totally OK.

Timeline – don’t get sad if all your friends commit on 9/1 of their junior year. D3 doesn’t make offers until later and sometimes D1 makes commitments as late as December of your senior year. Patience, young grasshopper.

D1 - You cannot be contacted by anyone for recruiting until September 1 of your junior year. That being said, they can reach out to you with camps and prospect days but not personally. Now obviously kids who verbally commit on 9/1 must have had some contacts with the colleges but most of it is through high school / clubs

D2 – June 15 after the sophomore year

D3 – I believe they can talk at any time but some of the NESCACs adopt D1 rules. D3 offers do not go out until June 1 after their junior year

Choosing a school: it will be a multitude of factors but this is what I think plays into it (in no order)

1) Academics – imho, don’t sacrifice this for lacrosse, but that being said, you will probably be fine at any school depending on what you make out of it
2) D1 vs D2 vs D3 – similar to above – don’t get caught up on the D1 Hamster Wheel – plenty of good options out there
3) Starter vs bench – some kids just want to be part of a process; some need to be the superstar. Find out where your kid is and if you are realistic, it may open doors and don’t shoot for the stars, it may open up a lot of schools
4) Conference they play in and level of competition
5) Money – it matters. There are some very rich people on these forums who don’t realize that. That being said, most are not getting full sports scholarships.
6) Coaches and their coaching philosophy – this has to be the right fit
7) Lacrosse is finite – don’t choose a school because of a lacrosse


Well I am sure I left a lot out. Seriously, try and help out your fellow lax members with something constructive. Everyone enjoy the ride though. It was great for me, my wife and all our kids.

Well Ian you would probably know best, you bring enough attention to her you really need it talked about here. Also Don't BS its you

Chaminade is an All boys school and superior to St A's academically. St. A's superior athletically boys & girls. Both are beautiful schools. One is in Nassau County, the other Suffolk.

Did you really just try to compare Chaminade to St. Anthony's academically?? No horse in the race here, looked at both, but chose for my son to attend a co-ed boarding school in Massachusetts. Chaminade and St. A's are not close from a rigor, discipline and tolerance of nonsense perspective. I'm sure there are some smart kids at St. A's, but there is not much of a "tier" academically at Chaminade. Those that cannot handle it or don't like it transfer out. St. A's does have better football and lacrosse, I'll give you that-but even that is a much closer comparison than the academic one. Stop the nonsense. And agreed, the mighty catholics should stick to playing other private schools of the same ilk and stop coming on here boasting that you beat this or that public school-apples to oranges.

THANK YOU!

Here’s the best advice I can give: Go to the best, most appropriate academic school possible for your kid. Period. Everything else is secondary. Jacksonville doing well right now. But you want your kid there or at some stronger academic school they’d whip? How about High Point? Should your kid go there or Dartmouth which traditionally occupies the basement of the Ivy League? Most of us would kill to have our kids go to Dartmouth. On the other hand if Jacksonville or High Point are academically appropriate for your kid….then have at it and send him there. Do the best you can to cast a wide net for recruiting. But never trade down academically…..And never go to a school unless you’d be happy there without lacrosse. There are a million things that can get in the way of a happy four years and MANY boys and girls drop out along the way.

Unless your kid is really, really smart then I wouldn't send them to an Ivy unless they are going to be something professionally high end...they sign about 80 kids each year so its a really small pool your talking about lax wise....the college lax team becomes your fraternity for life and it is a blast...go to school have fun, get a degree and you will get a job almost anywhere, the academic schools are becoming overstated now.

I have one out of college working as a Speech Therapist, one in college and one senior and I believe in Education. But my plumber profits over a million bucks a year every year without lifting a finger, he has 10 plumbers and drain guys that work for him and he started with just one truck; my ac and heating guy profits over five hundred thousand a year, again without lifting a finger. Just blows my mind.

Can’t wait for this LI boys Hs season especially in the Private school league. I got so much respect for Chaminade as they are all not only non-reclasses but challenge themselves every single day at single and also amazing lacrosse players. St. Ants is always pretty good too but it’s kind of embarrassing that they need kids to reclass and honestly it’s just a place where all the athletes who aren’t smart enough for Chaminade go. Can’t wait to see both these teams as both are stacked, but I’m also expecting an ‘underdog’ story and complete dominance displayed from the flyers.

Honestly, not everyone wants to go to Chaminade. Good athletes or not! Plenty kids transfer out because it is not for them. And, it’s not just due to academics either… could be social reasons. The All boy schools are not for everyone. I also doubt very highly Flyers are going to completely dominate this year. Let’s Circle back in a couple of months.
How many kids are at Chaminade because it’s their parents choice? Hmmm 90%? Alumni network , etc…. Things are changing.

Can’t wait for this LI boys Hs season especially in the Private school league. I got so much respect for Chaminade as they are all not only non-reclasses but challenge themselves every single day at single and also amazing lacrosse players. St. Ants is always pretty good too but it’s kind of embarrassing that they need kids to reclass and honestly it’s just a place where all the athletes who aren’t smart enough for Chaminade go. Can’t wait to see both these teams as both are stacked, but I’m also expecting an ‘underdog’ story and complete dominance displayed from the flyers.

Can’t wait for this LI boys Hs season especially in the Private school league. I got so much respect for Chaminade as they are all not only non-reclasses but challenge themselves every single day at single and also amazing lacrosse players. St. Ants is always pretty good too but it’s kind of embarrassing that they need kids to reclass and honestly it’s just a place where all the athletes who aren’t smart enough for Chaminade go. Can’t wait to see both these teams as both are stacked, but I’m also expecting an ‘underdog’ story and complete dominance displayed from the flyers.

Put Chaminade in any public school division and they own it (same w St. Anthony’s). Can’t really disrespect a team that’s constantly ranked top 15 in the country every single year. (And I went to St. Ants)

Has Chaminade not lost to Public Schools over the years?

Put Chaminade in any public school division and they own it (same w St. Anthony’s). Can’t really disrespect a team that’s constantly ranked top 15 in the country every single year. (And I went to St. Ants)

Ummmm....they should dominate a public school division, they are a private school that can take in student athletes from all over!!
Way to go out on a limb with that prediction.

SA has reclasses? I thought that was reserved for boarding schools. Are the majority of their 17 kids that see the field are seniors?

Don't kid yourself Chaminade has reclasses as well.

Just curious, Are all the Chaminade players “on age” for the grade they are in?

Nope. Just like all the privates . Most are but some are not. I know at least 2 1 coached in youth football and the other is my nephew

I thought holdbacks weren't a thing on the island.....

Define "holdback".... on LI it is done one of two ways. 1) Parents know the advantage of having an older kid in a grade and enter them into school late so that they are, on average, a year older. 2) kid will go from a public school 8th grade to a private school and repeat that grade. They may return to public school the following year or continue on with private school. This debate will never end and it is a legitimate concern when kids are younger and can get hurt by a bigger / stronger kid. Yea By the time they are in HS it is moot. I am not saying that the older kids will not be stronger and bigger but most kids have grown and it is just unfortunate for the late bloomers.