BOTC - US Lacrosse Community Forum Forums NORTHEAST LACROSSE BOTC MAIN FORUM (LI, CT, WC) Boys 2018 Fall 2012/Spring 2013

of course you should talk to the coach, but unless your kid is treated poorly, you dont quit...

His parents didn't feel that he was being treated specially and better than the players of lesser talent.

You first have to decide whether you've paid too much for him to leave, and if that outweighs the time commitment for tournaments and your son's unhappiness with the situation. If so, then he should just stick it out and get whatever benefit he can out of practice and try to have fun.

But, if you think the time considerations and cost weigh in favor of leaving, then BEFORE you do that, politely tell the coach your concerns, and gauge his reaction.

If he acknowledges the issue, and agrees to try and make a change, then you stay to see if things improve.

If he does not seem agreeable to making a change, or if he agreed to make a change and things really don't improve, then you have to decide whether or not to leave or stick it out for the rest of the season. Your decision should be based primarily on whether your son wants to stick it out. You should also consider if his leaving puts the other boys in a bad position (i.e., if he quits, does that leave the team short).

At this point, you've done what you can: you've given the coach a chance to address the issue, and you've involved your son in the process.

I know, because we went through this process recently, and after giving the organization a chance to make a change (which they promised but didn't execute), he wanted to move on. So we did. Never regretted it, although my wallet was worse for the experience.

Ok, got it and as I acknowledged in my previous post, you don't quit. I was more interested in learning about what parents are talking to the coaches about in unhappy situations. Is anything 'off the table'. For instance, if you see your team continually being beaten in their attempt to clear the ball would you feel comfortable going up to the coach and telling him/her to please work on clearing? Maybe its something else bad defense or playing time. Is anything off the table?

Is that why he left Team LI also?

Yes some things have changed.

How are the boys middle school seasons going? Fun playing teams with all the club boys knowing each other!

from a wm (gelinas) perspective, it has been a lot of fun. We play 2018 terps and have seen many boys on our travel team at middle school games. all boys know each other and have a blast. Nice to see them and their parents at games and be able to cheer when a kid on the other team does something well...

although, hate the five quarters...

Hate the 5 quarters,im a Kings Park parent and its been an okay experience.We played Gelinas,great team,they killed us! Our players are learning but could benefit from more instructive coaching.

I know my wife will be checking this tread so "HAPPY MOTHERS DAY !!!"

What does that matter? Kids leave clubs ALL THE TIME nowadays. The clubs are ALWAYS looking for the "next best thing", therefore why shouldn't we as the costumer?? No loyalty on either side, wake up instead of taking a shot at the kid and his family.

Oh we have woken up. How many players have jumped programs,not teams, months after a team is selected,other players were cut for that kids spot,the team has been practicing and playing,traveling together since the fall and it is now May?? The kid leaves and does not even give an explanation to his teammates and friends?Its not about him leaving,its about when and how he went about it. Or his parents decision to do so after being a teammate and friend for a few years.These teams develop friendships and spend a lot of time together,not just on the field but off the field too. The way this has happened has left the boys asking why? With no explanation. This isn't just about a game for these kids,this particular group is close and this situation has been upsetting for this group. Good Luck to the him, and the players will miss him, and hope he finds what he is looking for with his new team. Maybe someday he can explain it all to the boys.

Why does he or his family owe anything to anybody? Do they have the kid play club ball to make FRIENDS? Or get better and compete? You can't tell people how to live their life or raise their kids. I don't judge people on that, these club teams are a business for owners and parents need to realize its not a freaking play date. Its a cut throat competition at times, which is not good but it is the reality of the youth elite club situation.

As far as the kids on 91 who now have a SURPRISE kid coming for playing time and a roster role, I agree with you there. Tryouts are a TRUE waste of our time BUT as we all know a huge $$$$$$ maker for the 91's, fl$'s & Express's of the world. But thats something the 2018 Orange 91 team parents NEED to tell the owner/head coach of 91 - gotta speak up.

I guess you're right that this particular player doesn't owe it to his team and lacrosse at 12/13 years old is cut throat. However, I hope that in the real game of life we have not fallen so far morally. When we try to teach our kids values, I hope we don't always take the easy way out and say you don't owe it to anyone but yourself. Only look out for you. That may get you to a certain point in lacrosse, but at the end of the day are you happy with yourself? Are you proud of your decisions? When you have to start making excuses for your decisions and try to justify them to convince yourself and others, then somewhere in the back of your mind you know that it is not right. You can hide behind the thought that it is our son and our choice and we call the shots. But, are you teaching your son how to be morally responsible to a team that he committed to? You're not. You may wonder what difference does it make leaving now or at the end of the season. It makes a BIG difference.

Are you serious with this BS? The kid made a change because his parents wanted him to. It was a business decision on his parents behalf. Are you so clueless? This is not about commitments to teams and kids. This isn't PAL. Two years from now your kids will be competing for D1 slots. Wake up. You want to see cut throat??? The people on your own team will step on your neck when they find out the Penn coach is at the next game.

People need to realize that it's not the boys decision to change teams often it's his parents! They are the ones that are in need of their kid being treated like a god by the coach and directors of the organization.

I am not the person that wrote the other post, but I am a lax parent from a 2018 team.As far as the Penn coach coming to the game and the step on the throat comment,what school will your kid be playing for? I hope my son isn't on his team.I can just imagine what that experience will be like for your team!
Parents make the ultimate decision for their child,true.From my experience,I do not think ALL parents and kids are in this at 12/13 years old for the cut throat part of the competition. On the other side of the bench,some of us are there for our kids to play,learn,grow and develop as players AND as fine young men. Many of these boys will be playing on teams side by side and then against each other on club,school,select,camps whatever teams. Many of us parents will be cheering for them all the way. Its too bad that the few bad oranges in the bunch don't see that. We will continue to explain all these valuable life lessons that sports has taught our son. This is just another one along the road.Yes parents are the consumer and the team is a product,but again there are young boys emotions involved as well.A tough line to walk when you put children's emotions in the mix. This insane world of youth sports is out of control because of adults,but that does not make it any easier on the kids that are playing on the field.

Well said. Most of us see that there are many valuable lessons to learn from sports and hopefully remain positive role models to our children.

Who won the 2018 Exp Wol vs fl$ on sat?

Once these kids manage to impress the Penn coach what will happen when he takes away some playing time or asks them to move to LSM or Attack? They'll be the first one's looking for a transfer. It won't be their fault they don't know how to work through a difficult situation, it's what their parents taught them.

That's the point exactly, and then they grow up and have to deal in the real world with a boss or employee. Suck it up, life is not fair, you cant always win, but learn and grow and be a bit humble....Teach your kids that and they will be better for it in the long run.

yet amidst all of this morality, the cynic in me cant help but think "wow this kid must be really good otherwise people wouldnt care this much". Somehow I get the feeling that the kids will work it out, despite the parents meddling and all of the bad-mouthing they will be doing about this guy and his kid right in front of or directly to their kids. You must have slept through the lessons on judging others and casting stones during your Morality & Ethics class. We live in a market-driven economy and this is pay for play. I admit that the timing is a bit rough but dont seek the long-term friendshids and community togetherness here. Thats for you PAL and school teams.

You Sir, are right on point! Parents, read then re-read this man's post. This sums up the environment that IS travel lacrosse. Wether or not we want it to be sometning else or not, this is it. No more, no less. Understand what this person says here and it will explain everything you ever wanted to know about this world our kids play in. Great Post.

You people are so sad. Making such a big deal about a KID involved in youth sports.
I'm so glad I have more important things to concern myself with than this. MY KIDS ARE HEALTHY AND I HAVE A JOB.
Move on to something more important already. This is old news.

How did the tourns go this weekend?

JDRF for this age group is today ...

2018 terps played in Lax splash in Baltimore--

Competition was bad-they won all games easily...

Took a quick look at the tournament schedules and 91 and Express are not in any of the same tournaments this year. Any other teams going to compete with these 2?

Since 91 Orange beat the Terps already at Shamrock I doubt MC will play them again. Also heard that Wolverines for this age group are not traveling once this summer. All local tournaments. Nice to keep paying for the Orange teams uniforms and travel tournaments. That's a joke. Wolverines how does it feel to be told your coach was going to be MS but he has never been there. Just name dropping by MC to get the money.

LI Laxfest

How did the middie who chose to blow off playing for his middle school team against crosstown rival middle school in lax happy town do ?

Your post is exactly why we know we made the right choice for our son when trying out for teams. He is very happy at Express and with MC and JL. Yes, you beat us. 91 played a great game no question about that. However, sometimes families are looking for more in an organization than 1 win against another top team. I can honestly say that my son is getting great training in a positive environment. He does not have any negative parents making crazy comments from the sideline after drinking all day at a 12 year old sporting event. It was only a handful of fathers, but they made your organization look badly and I would have been embarrassed if my son was part of a team that a makes fun of 12 year old opponents. I truly can't imagine spending all summer having to listen to these men. Has anyone from your team ever told them to tone it down? Or is their behavior accepted? I truly am not trying to be mean spirited. It would be wonderful having these group of talented boys be able to play each other more often since the end goal is for them to get better at the game they all love. It's just a shame that some parents take it to a whole new level.

First of all, the game is competetive and boys will get hurt if not taught how to play properly and maybe the boy and his family got tired of him getting shelled at game after game after game and the coaches not even doing anything about it if they were even bothering to make the games!

All I did was point out obvious facts. I was at that game and didnt hear or see anything that your mentioning I was sitting with both Express and 91 parents and it seemed as if all were behaved well. Faceless claims are always made on the internet because there is no accountability.

So your OK with being misled or your child is on the Terps based on what I read so its OK that other teams are being duped. I guess when your the top man on totem pole it doesnt effect you. I was talking about the fact that these kids wont play each other because its a business. What about the poor wolverines team beeing the B team and the false advertising in certain coaches will be coaching a team and you sign up for that reason and that coach is never there also only getting to play in local tournaments I am sure thats not what those parents signed up for. Just sayin!

If you don't see the coaches doing a good job then you should leave. I am glad we did. It is a world of difference on 91 and I taught my son to work hard and go get what you want in life not sit back and complain. If he gets cut or not he will learn to deal with it. He has other great things going for him. You only live once!

I can not speak on behalf of a team that my son does not play for. I do not know the facts. And yes most of the parents were well behaved when Express and 91 played. Several of the parents from both teams were complimentary of each other after the game. Just a sad bunch of dads from 91 were poorly behaved. Most of us that were by the end posts heard the fathers with their red cups on the bleachers make fun of the 12 year old Express players while they were shooting or dodging. Just because you didn't hear it didn't mean it didn't happen. I am sure this was not the one and only game they were vocal. However, I am aware that there are many respectable families on the team.

All organizations have additional costs, who really cares. In the end, it is probably a matter of a few dollar difference from one organization to another, find the club that is best for you and your child and get on with your lives.

Now 91 has most arrogant parent of them all on the side lines. Just a matter of time before he tries to set up and control practice and charge the team money and get a cut from the proceeds. Good luck 91 and good riddens.

My wife and I totally agree. You can have that guy. A bad seed.

Disgusted and ashamed to be a lax parent after reading this crap!!! Good Luck to all the little boys in trying to grow up with all these crazy parents spewing so much garbage. If your kid gets cut, move on, teach him life lessons,and find another team. Some players did that and it is working out great for them. If you don't like what's going on with your current team, finish what you started!!! and then move on. Don't screw a team of young boys for your own self monetary benefit!! If you are on a team and not happy,talk to the coaches and try and work it out. If you a parent looking in on whats going on with another team or club,dont comment on what you think you know is going on. The speculation and fight isn't yours,so why do you care!! Lots of teams playing lots of different tournaments and lots of grerat players and families on all these teams,an bad oranges in the bunch. Stop with the speculation about MC and SL(he also has his share of unscrupulous behavior). Be happy your kid is healthy and can play sports! Try to act more like your 12 year old,then your dog!!!