BOTC - US Lacrosse Community Forum Forums NORTHEAST LACROSSE BOTC MAIN FORUM (LI, CT, WC) Boys High School Lax

Great

Really? Who dominated?

Petty even game that I seen!!!!

Neither, both teams looked even . They pretty much went goal for goal. Good match up

How did Penn commit do? And is 91 star kid on varisty?

does it really matter.

When a coaches relative plays over kids who are clearly better players (kids committed to Top 20 programs), how should a parent respond? Serious question.

Just because a player is committed doesn't mean he is better. Additionally, lacrosse is a team sport, perhaps the other player meshes better with the team. Could the top 20 commit be a selfish player, all about Number 1?

Unfortunately, deal with it. Doesn't happen at the DI, II or III level.

IMHO every situation is different, you can turn the question around and say "When a top 20 committed player plays over kids who are clearly better players how should a parent respond? " as both cases happen all the time. There are 10 spots on the field and unless this is goal then good players should get in the field, maybe not when you want or the position you would like but a kid committed to a top 20 school should be able to get on the field. HS coaches should not care where a kid is committed or if he starts on his summer team, he should be concerned with who gives him the bast chance of winning. regardless of who he is related to.

Parents five biggest reasons for a kid not playing
#1) other kids parents give money to booster club
#2) my kid does not play on coaches pay for play summer team
#3) kid playing over my kid is coaches (Son, Nephew or Godson)
#4) Kid playing over my son is committed to D1 school
#5) Kid playing over my kid has a parent on the school board

Actual biggest reason your kid isn't playing
#1) Coach thinks another kid gives team a better chance of winning

What doesn't happen ?

The important aspect of all of this (sports in HS) is to teach kids about life's lessons. That's what sports are all about. Providing kids opportunities to make decisions, experience success, and sometimes failure, and develop resiliency and coping skills, ;earn to be a good teammate and friend and stay a healthy all at the same time. My suggestion to you would be to empower your son. First, tell him to work harder on the filed during practice. Do things to stand out both on the field and off. Be the first at practice and the last to leave, be the first in the sprints, take your role on the team seriously and show the coach you willing to work harder for more exposure. Second, i would teach your child to advocate for himself. He should schedule a private meeting with the coach and ask for some constructive criticism as to how to improve and how he could work his way onto the field more. Then strive to meet those goals. My biggest piece of advice is to stay out of it as a parent. You are only debilitating your son's ability to solve problems and be a self advocate. Give him the strategies and let him figure it out. If he chooses not to then it falls on him. but, he needs to realize that he has the control and the ability to influence this situation not the parents. Coaches respect when kids speak to them maturely and privately. It's not about his personal playing time it's about making the team better. Your son has to figure out how he can do that.

If you are saying that there is never a situation in the college ranks where a player who is currently capable of playing better than another, but is still relegated to play behind that other player, you are wrong. This happens a lot with a player who is highly recruited, and then, when that player doesn't live up to expectations, he or she is provided a much longer rope to achieve the expected potential before the coach finally lets the player(s) 'behind' that player get their chance. [lacrosse], this happens in the pros with high paid contracts! Bottom line, is that if it happens in the pros, in colleges, then it also happens at all of the levels below, with private schools being worse than public schools at the HS levels.

I agree with your entire post, all the way up to the end. What is the basis for the private/public difference?

You are correct however i was replying to a parent asking what to do about a relative of a coach playing over their special child..."When a coaches relative plays over kids who are clearly better players (kids committed to Top 20 programs), how should a parent respond? Serious question."

okay can of worms being open.

What schools HS does this happen the most?

Unfortunately the # 1 reason for a coach should be what you say, but in many cases among high schools this is not the case. Many LI HS teams are run by parents who have a lot of power and say over the HS coach, who is also a teacher in the HS. Most teacher-coaches care about 1 thing: Getting paid and moving on to the next sport if they coach multiple ones. And the HS coaches who run a Summer program also only care about 1 thing: Getting paid!! No HS coach should be able to run a pay to play Summer program in the same school district. It's ridiculous! So a lot of favors and nepotism occur. Sometimes costing the programs championships.

Oh it does and it did happen on D1 level last year, See Binghamton thread on laxpower from last year - actually was a factor in coach losing his job

I wasn't citing HS examples - I simply said that if it happens in the pros and colleges, it will also happen at levels below that. Since this is in many cases a direct result of recruiting, it would likely be more a problem in private HSs, since there is really no such thing as recruiting in public HS. I watched this play out personally in a DIII college football program where a highly recruited freshman was given almost 2 full seasons of mediocrity before the coach finally pulled the plug on a guy and let better performing players get deserved time. I know others who saw and have recounted similar during their times in other schools in other programs/sports.

As parents we can remember fondly of all the great things our sons have accomplished on the playing field and feel qualified to watch games and determine that our child is a better player then another kid but the other kid is playing. This is the classic case of everybody loves the back up quarterback except in these cases the back up is our sons.

What nobody gets to see is how they preform in practice? how hard they work in the weight room, how coachable they are, do they show up on time for meetings and practices and how they look on films. These are the things coaches see that we do not. It is easy to sit in the stands on Saturday afternoon and watch the game and decide the coach doesn't know what he is doing but they should always no better then us.

GC verse Syo today? is this the start of the season? Non Conference?

6-5 game or 10-4 game

Realistically you have no recourse. Go to the coach and the player will be done, coach may kill the kid's rep with college coach. I would stand down on that one, especially if the kid is committed to a Top 20. Who cares?

You're missing the point - the perception issue is separate. The point is that there are cases where an underperforming player does get to play while a better option sits on the bench. It's not prevalent, but to pretend it never happens is untrue.

understand your point but who better to decide who plays than the coaching staff that see and evaluate everything - players play, coaches coach and parents complain

This is the start of the season, not a scrimmage and it counts and yes it is a non league game - I predict a 11 - 7 final score

As parents we can remember fondly of all the great things our sons have accomplished on the playing field and feel qualified to watch games and determine that our child is a better player then another kid but the other kid is playing. This is the classic case of everybody loves the back up quarterback except in these cases the back up is our sons.

What nobody gets to see is how they preform in practice? how hard they work in the weight room, how coachable they are, do they show up on time for meetings and practices and how they look on films. These are the things coaches see that we do not. It is easy to sit in the stands on Saturday afternoon and watch the game and decide the coach doesn't know what he is doing but they should always no better then us. [/quote]


You're missing the point - the perception issue is separate. The point is that there are cases where an underperforming player does get to play while a better option sits on the bench. It's not prevalent, but to pretend it never happens is untrue.[/quote]

understand your point but who better to decide who plays than the coaching staff that see and evaluate everything - players play, coaches coach and parents complain
[/quote]


On the whole, generally, yes, the coach is in charge, so they do make the decisions. And there will be complaints for all kinds or reasons, right or wrong. But, like anywhere else, coaches are far from infallible. This thread started when someone made the statement in absolute terms that "only the best players play", that there are never cases where lesser players play over better players - well that is not always the case, and my illustrative example was just one of those cases. I should have also added that in my example, the coach acknowledged later on to his assistant coaches that he made a mistake in playing the highly recruited player over other players for so long.

11-7 GC is a good prediction.

"Good prediction" or "Preferred outcome"??!

13-8 SYO

"11-7 GC is a good prediction.


"Good prediction" or "Preferred outcome"??!"

BOTH! and I'm not from GC!

When are you going to learn Syo guy? Year in and year out, with only a couple of exceptions, the Best in B and C beats the best that A has to offer. I expect history to rpt itself this afternoon.

well you were wrong

Garden city went home crying 9-5 they lost year in a row!!!!

9-5 SYO, very good game.

oooooooops - two years in a row Syo over GC in opener 10-5

You must be referring to ancient history.... Back in your glory days.

Can you spell Three-peat?

2015 Syo 9 / GC 7
2016 Syo 6 / GC 3
2017 Syo 9 / GC 5

There seems to be a widening trend in the scores as well.

Can't wait for all the usual GC excuses to roll in... Was it too sunny at the field? Too warm? The turf too hard? Or, was the officiating bad?

Face it Mutts are tougher than Pure Breeds.

Good luck for the rest of the season - see you next year.

Not surprised the Syo vCham scrimmage was very close, both teams looked strong, Syo will be very tough this year

Score was 10-5 with that final syo goal in the last few minutes
Hope the GC talking about history repeating itself was at the game to see history repeating itself in person with another GC loss

Here's your excuse, enrollment of 2500 versus 1800.

3rd year in row Syosset won opener against garden city