BOTC - US Lacrosse Community Forum Forums NORTHEAST LACROSSE BOTC MAIN FORUM (LI, CT, WC) Complaint Department

The nerve of some people or organizations. I just saw a post where some think the parents are selfish or unscrupulous. Why because they want to do the best for their children.


Some teams and even different organization, regardless of age group since this issue crosses over many age groups. Really need to look in the mirror.

TAKE CARE OF WHO YOU HAVE SO THEY DO NOT NEED TO LOOK FOR ANTHOER OPTION. IF YOU DONT DO THAT, DONT [lacrosse] AND TALK ABOUT THEM WHEN THEY LEAVE AND GO SOMEWHERE ELSE. ITS LIKE BLAMING SOMEONE ELESE FOR SOMETHING YOU DID.

IF A GROUP OF KIDS LEAVE A TEAM, IT IS NOT BECAUSE 1 OR 2 KIDS/FAMILIES RECRUITED THEM. IT IS USUALLY BECAUSE THE WISEN UP; BEING LIED TO OR UNKEPT PROMISES OF THE DIRECTION OF TEAM BY THE COACH OR THE ORGANIZATION CATCHES UP TO YOU WHEN YOU DONT DELIVER.

A regular Bill Shakespeare here....

Seriously though, every comment on these boards has to be looked at through the proper glasses.... Parents are often speaking out of pride, but more hopefully for the protection/betterment of their kids; team trolls are often speaking on behalf of their coffers, but more hopefully out of care for the team's success.

Excellent post

Three Village Lacrosse is a joke and the board is nothing but a self serving group of men who wheel and deal to make it work for their own kids. What happened to one town one team gentlemen. Kids are leaving in droves and I don't blame them!

There are coaches of some 3 Villages teams that have no business being involved in youth sports. Punks teaching kids how to play like punks. I guess when adults achieve no success in their life, the success of the youth lacrosse team takes on transcendental significance. Coach, nothing wrong with wearing flouresent T-shirts to work!!

Maybe. Not the case here , but can understand why someone from outside may think that. What would you call a person who has no intention of going to a team , that spends two days at a tryout , speaking to one parent at a time trying to talk them into leaving? I have a few ideas. Everyone respects doing what is best for your kids. The behavior here unfortunately , was disgraceful and not in best interest Of the who wanted to play on this team because they were happy with the club , team and coach. Their was no regard for them. Then the same parents approach what's left of team when options are limited. Wasn't a realistic financial option for all the boys. Those unscrupulous , selfish parents didn't think about that!!

everything boils down to loyalty. there will always be the parents looking for the what's perceived as being bigger and better. yes look out for your kid but stop being disruptive and go on your merry way. it's beyond childish what some of these parents are doing.

Excellent academic schools in NESCAC as well as a few other DIII conferences. Would be happy for my son to attend any of them but please understand that there is still a significant time commitment to the lacrosse team at these institutions as well. they don't get to "Just have fun".

Yes there is a significant commitment but nothing like D1. They do hold fall practices and they do lift but it isn't at 6am before class with a strength coach. The kids work hard because they want to be better. In D1 you are owned by the program. There is no missing anything for any reason. It can be a job. Which is fine if you are an instant starter. Everyone there was a STAR in high school and most kids have to work their way onto the field.

I am not sure everyone is thinking D1 is the only avenue. I know plenty of players who are well aware of those New England schools. I believe the players and families of serious HS players understand they have more time to be considered for those. It goes in stages.

Not everyone but a large majority on here think that their boy is the next Rabil. While many may be great players,there are a lot of great players. I know some great HS players who scored 50-60 goals a year. When they got to D1 they were average first line middies after a year or two on the bench. One was strictly a defensive midfielder although a very good one. They went to great academic schools .Which it should be about.

Anyone else seeing a fall off in PAL enrollment numbers in Nassau? Seems like a few big programs and everyone else has given up. That's what happens when coaches don't pass the ball around at the younger ages.

Do you have a SPECIFIC gripe or just like spouting off in caps? Does it make you feel better about your poor behavior. If unhappy somewhere , move on and do what's best for your kid. Who would spend a full weekend trying to sabatosh a 6th grade lacrosse team and the poor kids left standing ?

In the current environment everyone thinks they are going to give an early verbal in 8th grade which means the process of squeezing kids out has really ramped up. In the old days everyone made it through the PAL years with no issues now kids are getting pushed out in 3rd or 4th grade by coaches not forcing kids to share the ball around.

This may be actually be my favorite post. The above guy is griping about someone else's griping not being specific enough for him.
I was going to gripe about guys griping about other peoples gripes until I realized that if I did that I would actually be griping about gripes so I stopped myself. WHEW!!!!

just think about how many times you hear a coach yell during a game "go to goal so & so"..that tells you all you need to know about PAL coaches...usually its the coaches son/daughter doing the yelling too....other kids figure why bother..

I have a gripe with the parents that are constantly criticizing PAL coaches. It's a thankless job. Nobody steps up to volunteer but then everyone comes out of the woodwork and bashes the coach. I'm sorry but if the coach's kid is one of the better players, then he/she is going to play more. Maybe learn how to play the game and coach it yourselves next time around

I agree. It bothers me how the term "daddy coach" is used disparagingly around here. Step up and coach, show the "daddy coaches" how it's done. You're already "coaching" from the sidelines anyway. Seems like the sidelines are filled with armchair coaches who are good at criticizing but incapable of taking action.

Same guy who bashed 2024 for leaving because they refused to be strong armed now put his son on a club team. 2 sets of rules.

Yeah- Frankly, even if their kid plays more than they should, they are spending their free time for a thankless/blame-laden job. If their kid gets some extra minutes of field time- fine with me.

The fact that PAL teams are dwindling isn't a good thing at all by the way regardless of the reasons for it.

good points as many club teams have coaches with kids on the team. 10 years ago a town travel team might have been an extra $100. Now it's $1500-$3000 or more for essentially the same thing

You mean to say, you ALMOST stopped yourself!!


And yes, if you take the time to complain, complain about something specific. That's what I just did!

It is clearly not the same thing. Expensive yes, essentially the same as PAL - no way Jose.

Suffolk County PAL Football Mission Statement program is to provide a safe and caring environment for as many children as possible to play organized tackle football. The PAL Football Board of Directors will ensure that all children are protected and treated with respect and dignity by their respective organizations and coaches.

I'm sure lacrosse can't be any different
Any coach discouraging a 3rd grade kid
Should be removed from the organization immediatly

Spot on. I have tons of respect for daddy coaches volunteering to coach lacrosse but don't lecture us on stepping up. If you are coaching, do the right thing and teach the kids the right way to play a Team Sport - pass the ball around. For those "go to goal guys" you are doing 95% of your team a disservice.

I was the guy who made the comment about hearing how the term daddy coach is used around here. I'm not saying people never have a basis for complaint. At the same time though some parents just nitpick at everything.

So you sound like you get it, the daddies that don't are winning 15-4 with only 3 kids scoring all game and usually one of the scorers is their kid. Unfortunately modern day lacrosse craves stat padding and it is ruining the game at a very young age.

People who coach like that are D-bags, dad coach or not. Especially at the younger ages where there isn't as much at stake as the older kids

Three Village a joke? Their 2023 & 2022 teams were some of the best and well coached in the age group last season, club or PAL. Regarding the board, I believe they are truly trying to do what's best for Ward Melville. I would agree that the board member you are referring was a self serving a.., but the board did the right thing and asked him to step down and when he asked if his son could play for both 3v and the club team the board said no....upholding their decision to not let the "A" team kids play out. From what I have seen, BK is one of the best guys around the game and most of the board members are just trying to do what's best for WM.

With that said, its a shame to see what 3v parents are doing to the league. The disgruntled 2024 parents/ coaches are as self serving as the 3v board member. These same guys could have helped developed kids within the 3v program that would have ultimately feed WMHS, but instead choose to be self serving and created High Voltage, which is a " hybrid" team of the better 3v kids and a few kids from other towns so their own kids could play out and get a scholarship out of third grade!?!?

Who's the joke?

Three Village has it right for the most part....Most towns wish they had what we have...stop being a hater and get a clue.

3v was a great program and like many other programs in any sport, they are losing out to club sports. And there are great board members and coaches, and some that are truly pursuing a personal agenda. 3v gets a lot of heat because they took a hard position on club ball by drawing a line in the sand and saying "if you play for us, you don't play club, we are 3v and we do it better than any club team out there, you don't need to go anywhere". As the father of a 3v player who was given the opportunity to play with one of the top club programs (we chose to go), I can tell you that the top club programs prepare you child to play at the next level light years ahead of a town-based program. Its not just the level of opponents, its also the depth and everyday talent your kid will have to face in practice that makes the biggest difference. 3v is far from a joke, but their unwillingness to seek an amicable solution with the parents whose kids wanted to play high level travel ball (Im trying to be politically correct), was not right. There are so many talented kids in that program and so many great local tournaments in the Spring, that this could have been worked out and the boys that wanted to play club could have done so after the spring pal season and some local tourneys. But everybody got their backs up and said "good go, we don't need you". Well, if we had it to do over again, we would probably take a different approach I venture to guess. In our particular case the board talked parents into staying with promises that were not delivered upon. I don't think they intended to deceive, but people put their faith in them because they were the 3v board, and therefore had to know better than a few parents who felt we were slipping behind due to the top club programs. Pride, stubbornness and a lack of communication and willingness to understand the other guy's side of the issue are what caused the demise of my son's age group (no I wont say it). And all of the sniping, back stabbing and misrepresentation about what people actually said didn't help. So now you have a bunch of parents who pretend to like each other when they seek each other at school games -It should have never have come to this, its silly. Club ball is not for everyone, I know, but it works fine for some. the 3v board needs to get with the times (whether what is happening is good for the sport overall or not) and try to work through this 3v vs. club issue before its too late. Call me an eternal optimist, but there has to be an amicable solution to this - it really is not a very complex problem on the grand scheme of things- right? Go Patriots!

Last I checked, just because a kid plays for a club team doesn't mean that they aren't going to play for their high school.

The coaching staff of High Voltage and 2024 parents are all good people who have the best interests of their children at heart. High Voltage has not once come out and talked poorly of the Three Village program to it's parents or players. In fact, we urged our parents to go to their meeting and then make an informed decision on what would be a better fit for their child. Most, if not all, 2024 parents chose to come to High Voltage and that alone speaks volumes about the current state of the Three Village Lacrosse league.

High Voltage finished it's summer campaign by winning the LI Lax Clash 3rd Grade A Bracket and went undefeated at Greenport vs. ESM, Bayport, and Sachem. They also won the Blatant Indoor Winter League Championship for 3rd grade. The coaches must be doing something right.

The bottom line is this: if Three Village lacrosse was providing what our parents and children expected of a youth program, our kids would still be playing there. Their policy of not being allowed to play on a club team and a Three Village A Travel team has destroyed the league. Especially, when this rule is "selectively" enforced to allow current and past board members to do both but not the general membership. They also choose to MANDATE that in addition to your travel practice and weekly game that your child has to have ANOTHER IN-HOUSE practice AND IN-HOUSE GAME. 4 days of lacrosse.

As far as kids getting scholarships in 3rd grade...stop. It's all just cheap shots because our team has experienced the success that your league could not provide for our kids.

The landscape of the lacrosse world has changed. It's as simple as the concept of natural selection: Evolve with the times or die...

time will tell what happens, the next few years will be the litmus test on the in-house travel verses club travel will be.

3v for all my years didn't want any players to go out of town. Shame they had some of the best and I think that it drew a divide amongst them, lets see how they do while together under one roof in HS, SW didn't what kids to go outside either, but who cares, now they are on board with a club. SE not to sure, they had plenty of travel underclassmen on varsity LY. So I guess it worked

Will the new wave of strengthening the Schools program be with Clubs the HS coach is involved with. Allowing the players to have levels to play at is great (clubs have a b and even c for younger) why, because we all know there are different levels of play (A players and B/B+ players) that make a varsity program work, not all players are A (sorry AA) players. But All levels get better playing at or above their level... a component a club is better to deal with than district. I think this will be the next new wave. (More expensive but new)

... and if the parents are smart, they will do what is best for their child not a program or damn town director or brd...

Everyone is trying to hang onto players for dear life since every sport is year round. Our LAx PAL is crumbling because they wont play nice with baseball softball and soccer. We don't even field teams in every age group which is a travesty.

Some of the best 3V 2020 kids inclung a goalie left this year for Legacy

I call it genius...

People you do understand that some of the best teams in their age groups were put together by full recruitment and defection from other programs. Its a common occurrence. Just based on the success of the teams I am sure the players and parents are happy they left their original programs.

I never said the parents or coaches of high voltage were bad people or bad coaches, I just said they were self serving. As you emphasize in you first few sentences, "the best interest of their children".

I am not a board member, but have been a supporter of Three Village and Ward Melville for a long time. I have had sons come thru the program and two of them went on to play D1. Not that this makes me an expert, but you don't see value for WMHS in keeping the kids together?

I have never seen your team play, but it's a bit disturbing that you define your coaching ability by the wins you listed. Anybody that takes the better 3V kids and sprinkles in a few other good kids from other towns should win his fare share of games at that level. I am not implying that you have bad coaches, just stating an obvious point. My question would be are you developing any kids that are raw athletes that could be future studs for WMHS?

I do know a few of the individuals on the board and believe that the board has interests of helping WMHS be successful, not just their own kid. I am sure there are bad apples on the board and things have happened in the past that were not fair. You will see this in any youth organization, and especially as you run the gauntlet of club organizations. But their policy of not to play out, and recent enforcement of this policy on an actual board members son, who by the way may be the best goalie on LI in his age group and developed within the 3V program, says a lot.

And by the way.....this is not the first time this has happened. In the recent past, when the club teams were truly elite teams and not watered down cash checking machines, coach Cuozzo, then Hoppy to a lesser extent, got involved and kept the kids together.

Case in point, the '13 team had quite a few kids that could have played on some of the best club teams at that time, but they stuck together and it seemed to work out for all.

The landscape of lacrosse is changing, and fear, the me-me-me generation, and greed are killing the youth organizations that provide the opportunity for kids to develop and learn the game.

While you guys running High Voltage maybe well intentioned good guys. It does appear that you solely have the best interest of your kid at heart and not the greater 3V lacrosse community.

FYI - Some of the best times my boys had was playing in the in-house league. Tons of fun, no politics. it's a shame that parents today feel their kid is too good to play in that league.

Who are the bigger PAL towns, enrollment wise. How do they do it? Is there school district involvement?

The best boys and girls travel teams on LI can be coached by me and you why? because they have the best talent. These big clubs are PR machines and have poaching down to a science why? BECAUSE ITS GOOD FOR A VERY BIG BUSINESS!

Some of the best programs are worth millions and millionairs are usually ruthless, that's why they have what they have.