BOTC - US Lacrosse Community Forum Forums NORTHEAST LACROSSE BOTC MAIN FORUM (LI, CT, WC) Complaint Department

A friend told me about this site and it really is like driving by a car wreck. You just can’t help but keep looking. And here I am now writing something just so I feel heard. There are people here (and they all sound like parents) bitching and sniping about youth lacrosse. Really kind of pathetic that people feel the need to complain about how unfair the system is for a 2024 team. That’s 4th grade right? Man, that’s rough when you are convinced that your 4th grader’s future is determined by what summer team he plays on and even sadder if, as a parent, you believe they have failed if they don’t make the AA team in a particular program.

Here's a fact. Lacrosse has changed dramatically and so much of the fun has been sucked out of it. Your kids don’t just go out and play anymore for the sake of playing. They go out and pound the wall at your behest to get better for the next tryout so they can make the next team because you, the parents, have convinced yourselves that lacrosse equals success. That is success not only for your child but in some warped way you view it as success for yourself, that it somehow elevates your status in the community and reflects your achievements. Guess what? It doesn’t. If you went to a crap college or no college and feel like you didn’t reach your full potential the fact that your son is the leading goal scorer for the 2022 Black team isn’t going to change that one bit. And if you were a HS All-American that played at Virginia, got a great wall street job and make lots of money? Good for you, congrats. The fact that your son is on the 2018 B team and doesn’t have shot at playing in college doesn’t make him a failure because he didn’t walk in your shoes. It just makes you a [lacrosse] for holding him to that standard.

Here’s what is true:

1. There is no pot of scholarship gold at the end of the rainbow. We’ve all heard it but no one wants to believe it. Everyone hangs on to the belief that it may be different for their kid. If you were too busy spending money on summer teams and clinics hoping to develop that next superstar and didn’t save a dime for college that just makes you stupid. Welcome to Nassau CC.

2. Unless your kid is a really really good student in addition to being a stud athlete, they are not getting into Princeton. Could your star athlete really not get into Mount St. Mary’s without lacrosse? That’s really not a very high bar to get over. Here’s a novel idea, spend just half as much time riding them to do well in school as you do working on their weak hand and you may be surprised about the opportunities that open up without a lacrosse stick.

3. Playing lacrosse in college is cool but be careful what you ask for. I’ve lost count of the college players that graduate and are completely incapable of surviving in the real world as their peers go out and get real jobs. All those hours of hard work playing on a team sounds like a great platform for future success, right? Wrong. You missed out on all of the other activities that help you form and develop life skills. A ridiculous number of players are years out of college scraping by coaching clinics, camps and, no surprise, summer teams.

4. These summer teams are businesses. And just like your workplace politics are involved. It may be true that Johnny didn’t make the team because a weaker player’s cousin plays for Duke and the coaches want that kid just to say “his older cousin plays for Duke” and for some bizarre reason hope that the kid gets better because it’s in his genes. Welcome to real life. It’s not going to define your son whether he’s 9 or 18.

5. If you are that good of a player. You will be found.

I’m sure I’m opening myself up to comments like, “his kid must suck” and things of that nature so I will tell you that my kid is slightly above average, plays on an average team and loves to play despite the pressures of the current environment. But he does recognize the pressure and despite his mental toughness sometimes resents the atmosphere for what is only a game. Early signs of burn out. He’s only 12.

Thank you for a well written truthful post. Unfortunately most of those that need to hear it will read it and not see themselves anyway.

If that's true you are quite lucky and should be proud but if your perceive that your status is somehow elevated by your son's success, that's a bit disturbing to me. His status is not yours. Either way you took a big gamble and won. Most will not and you can't get that time back. They are only children for a short while.

Of course it it. They are following the identical business model: heavy marketing, swallow smaller competitive teams, run your own tourneys and charge your players a double dip. They're just about 3-4 years behind the other.

A friend told me about this site and it really is like driving by a car wreck. You just can’t help but keep looking. And here I am now writing something just so I feel heard. There are people here (and they all sound like parents) bitching and sniping about youth lacrosse. Really kind of pathetic that people feel the need to complain about how unfair the system is for a 2024 team. That’s 4th grade right? Man, that’s rough when you are convinced that your 4th grader’s future is determined by what summer team he plays on and even sadder if, as a parent, you believe they have failed if they don’t make the AA team in a particular program.

Here's a fact. Lacrosse has changed dramatically and so much of the fun has been sucked out of it. Your kids don’t just go out and play anymore for the sake of playing. They go out and pound the wall at your behest to get better for the next tryout so they can make the next team because you, the parents, have convinced yourselves that lacrosse equals success. That is success not only for your child but in some warped way you view it as success for yourself, that it somehow elevates your status in the community and reflects your achievements. Guess what? It doesn’t. If you went to a crap college or no college and feel like you didn’t reach your full potential the fact that your son is the leading goal scorer for the 2022 Black team isn’t going to change that one bit. And if you were a HS All-American that played at Virginia, got a great wall street job and make lots of money? Good for you, congrats. The fact that your son is on the 2018 B team and doesn’t have shot at playing in college doesn’t make him a failure because he didn’t walk in your shoes. It just makes you a [lacrosse] for holding him to that standard.

Here’s what is true:

1. There is no pot of scholarship gold at the end of the rainbow. We’ve all heard it but no one wants to believe it. Everyone hangs on to the belief that it may be different for their kid. If you were too busy spending money on summer teams and clinics hoping to develop that next superstar and didn’t save a dime for college that just makes you stupid. Welcome to Nassau CC.

2. Unless your kid is a really really good student in addition to being a stud athlete, they are not getting into Princeton. Could your star athlete really not get into Mount St. Mary’s without lacrosse? That’s really not a very high bar to get over. Here’s a novel idea, spend just half as much time riding them to do well in school as you do working on their weak hand and you may be surprised about the opportunities that open up without a lacrosse stick.

3. Playing lacrosse in college is cool but be careful what you ask for. I’ve lost count of the college players that graduate and are completely incapable of surviving in the real world as their peers go out and get real jobs. All those hours of hard work playing on a team sounds like a great platform for future success, right? Wrong. You missed out on all of the other activities that help you form and develop life skills. A ridiculous number of players are years out of college scraping by coaching clinics, camps and, no surprise, summer teams.

4. These summer teams are businesses. And just like your workplace politics are involved. It may be true that Johnny didn’t make the team because a weaker player’s cousin plays for Duke and the coaches want that kid just to say “his older cousin plays for Duke” and for some bizarre reason hope that the kid gets better because it’s in his genes. Welcome to real life. It’s not going to define your son whether he’s 9 or 18.

5. If you are that good of a player. You will be found.

I’m sure I’m opening myself up to comments like, “his kid must suck” and things of that nature so I will tell you that my kid is slightly above average, plays on an average team and loves to play despite the pressures of the current environment. But he does recognize the pressure and despite his mental toughness sometimes resents the atmosphere for what is only a game. Early signs of burn out. He’s only 12.

I’m sure I’m opening myself up to comments like, “his kid must suck” and things of that nature so I will tell you that my kid is slightly above average, plays on an average team and loves to play despite the pressures of the current environment. But he does recognize the pressure and despite his mental toughness sometimes resents the atmosphere for what is only a game. Early signs of burn out. He’s only 12.

I've found many director at different clubs are part of 2 organizations. Is this a conflict of interest or are clubs really part of other clubs?

How about Directors that run multiple tournaments? That smells the worst

Why , if its a quality tournament that gets the directors teams to play against quality competition , who cares.

Amen...this s/b required reading by ALL folks on not only this site, but to anyone ever thinking about having their child play travel lacrosse.
What never seems to get out to folks is the fact that even at a "big time', D1 program, the money that gets doled out to a lacrosse proghram is not that much. Not to mention there are 30+ kids to split whatever dollar amount that program gets. So...if you saved the 2k+ every year for the next 5/6 years, it would prob be more than whatever your child would get in college...

Amen...this s/b required reading by ALL folks on not only this site, but to anyone ever thinking about having their child play travel lacrosse.
What never seems to get out to folks is the fact that even at a "big time', D1 program, the money that gets doled out to a lacrosse proghram is not that much. Not to mention there are 30+ kids to split whatever dollar amount that program gets. So...if you saved the 2k+ every year for the next 5/6 years, it would prob be more than whatever your child would get in college...

I have posted on other boards similar messages to what I am going to reply to you. Many many kids go to sleep away camp every summer at cost many times what travel lacrosse costs us, a one week family vacation or cruise would cost more then a whole summer of lacrosse, - we choose to spend our money and vacation time with our kids and have a great time doing it, my dad would have loved to spend every second of his weekends with me and my brothers on long road trips to exotic places and get to watch us play lacrosse, My wife and I are loving the experience and treasuring the time we get to spend with your kids "on the road" and would not trade it for a trip to Hawaii every year......it is not about ROI it is about investing your time and money into your children

fl$ 's feud with Chaminade has officially reached a new low....

I applaude the candor, wisdom and perspective of the last few posters. doesn't seem like the complaint dept. More like the sage advice dept. My son just got dropped by his 2019 A team...he is broken hearted, needed to cheer him up and reminded him that this is a journey, all sports are a journey, you take it together. I reminded him of how much he has improved through the last few years with that club, the friendships he has made, the memories...not wasted time, good times, yes, as you said, even in traffic on the jersey turnpike and cheap motels in Maryland, we did it together and are closer for it, hope he does the same for his kid...he'll pick himself up today and head out another teams tryout and we will start the process again with new kids, families and coaches...wouldn't want it any other way...

I applaude the candor, wisdom and perspective of the last few posters. doesn't seem like the complaint dept. More like the sage advice dept. My son just got dropped by his 2019 A team...he is broken hearted, needed to cheer him up and reminded him that this is a journey, all sports are a journey, you take it together. I reminded him of how much he has improved through the last few years with that club, the friendships he has made, the memories...not wasted time, good times, yes, as you said, even in traffic on the jersey turnpike and cheap motels in Maryland, we did it together and are closer for it, hope he does the same for his kid...he'll pick himself up today and head out another teams tryout and we will start the process again with new kids, families and coaches...wouldn't want it any other way...

I applaude the candor, wisdom and perspective of the last few posters. doesn't seem like the complaint dept. More like the sage advice dept. My son just got dropped by his 2019 A team...he is broken hearted, needed to cheer him up and reminded him that this is a journey, all sports are a journey, you take it together. I reminded him of how much he has improved through the last few years with that club, the friendships he has made, the memories...not wasted time, good times, yes, as you said, even in traffic on the jersey turnpike and cheap motels in Maryland, we did it together and are closer for it, hope he does the same for his kid...he'll pick himself up today and head out another teams tryout and we will start the process again with new kids, families and coaches...wouldn't want it any other way...

come on, you gotta expand on that statement, was targeting that team this year, but the feud thing made me think twice...something new you heard about fl$/Chaminade face off?

thanks for your support and kind words, trying to keep perspective...he feels better because several kids from the team that dropped him have reached out through their multitude of social networks and said the team screwed up, that the kids they dropped him for although ok, are not as good as my son because they know them, same school..his ****Deleted****told him he should of made it...seems like they added a bunch of one certain HS's players, so the drop may have had a political component...makes him feel better but betrayed, he trusted them to make selections on merit alone, turns out certain kids who made the team never even made the second night of tryouts...makes me shake my head...such nonsense...I too trusted this team was different...he may not of made it on merit in the coaches eyes, but this info doesn't allow for a clean break on the subject...anyway, thanks again...

They cut the kids involved in the summer tournemant dispute when it happened. Now they have gotten real nasty and cut their siblings, cousins and other returning players identified as "Chaminade kids." Current and prosepctive Flyers beware!

CHAMINIDE WILL RULE WITH OR WITHOUT THE STUPID CLUB POLITICS. THE TOP OF THE LINE , CREAM OF THE CROP, SUPERIOR BREEDING ALWAYS COMES THRU.