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Feb 6th, 2020
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 Re: sometimes its NOT all about the kids
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 24
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OP
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i have now emailed the coach 3 times without a response.
does anyone feel i have a responsibility to the lax community to do something more at this point so that this type of behavior by a coach is discouraged? i know it wont prevent another coach from doing this again, but maybe certain coaches will think twice before doing this to someone else, and if that coach is on the fence about what to do, my further action in this case will nudge him/her in the right direction? if you think i should do something more, i am welcome to suggestions you have. note, that this particular team is associated (or claims to be associated) with college and MLL players who surely are not aware of this situation right now. also some of the team uniform was not delivered, and of course the tournaments which are part of tuition wont be played with this team.
i dont want my son nor i to be labelled 'that guy' that is a troublemaker if he doesnt get what he wants. im doing my best to go through the proper channels of communication and i assure you im not coming across to the coach like a fanatical parent. as i hope is reflected by my posts i am trying to be reasonable in all respects.
or should i just 'move on' as many have suggested?
thank you for any constructive input. Are you sure you have his correct contact info? Not getting back to you after 3x try's is absurd That is not absurd at all. Actually it is becoming the new normal on LI. Most coaches don't want any communication with the parents that pay their salaries. On most teams all communication comes from someone other than the coaches. i am sure. i have received emails from him previously and am using that same address. but i will take your suggestion to heart and i will search for other addresses of his. thank you for replying. How about picking up the phone? i suppose i can try all sorts of ways to reach out, including skywriting. i think trying to talk in person and emailing several times is more than a reasonable effort to try to communicate to the coach. im not concerned with that issue. what concerns me is the possibility that he or someone in a similar position repeats this behavior, which is not acceptable to players or their parents. i am asking whether anyone has any thoughts on what to do so my situation doesnt repeat itself, or whether people here on BOTC think i should just stop here and move on. thank you for any replies.
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Re: sometimes its NOT all about the kids
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DONT BE AFRAID TO CALL HIM. WHAT DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO LOSE AT THIS POINT?
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Re: sometimes its NOT all about the kids
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Joined: Dec 2012
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OP
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DONT BE AFRAID TO CALL HIM. WHAT DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO LOSE AT THIS POINT? im not afraid of losing anything, i was just asking a question that kind of supersedes your suggestion that i call him. the behavior with or without a call shouldnt be repeated. and im asking whether i should let it lie, or whether i should take some other action so that this situation doesnt repeat itself.
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Re: sometimes its NOT all about the kids
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DONT BE AFRAID TO CALL HIM. WHAT DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO LOSE AT THIS POINT? im not afraid of losing anything, i was just asking a question that kind of supersedes your suggestion that i call him. the behavior with or without a call shouldnt be repeated. and im asking whether i should let it lie, or whether i should take some other action so that this situation doesnt repeat itself. Let it go, it didn't work for you. Could have been a million reasons. Everyone has a different experience. You are not the lax police. Just let it go already.
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Re: sometimes its NOT all about the kids
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Yeah seriously. three days of banter
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Re: sometimes its NOT all about the kids
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Yeah seriously. three days of banter not really banter, and i consider the posts here helpful. except yours. thanks to those who took the time to post and thanks to those who reached out in private.
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Re: sometimes its NOT all about the kids
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I am so glad you decided to move on. years ago we were in a situation with our oldest with a coach who was a good friend. He was an awesome guy to have beers with, but became a different person on the field. At the time our son was not the most confident player but had stick skills and heart. We stuck it out to our son's detriment, later in HS after a few years with a coach who inspired confidence he became a stand out player as a senior. Overall, staying with the coach who blamed him when he missed his son's bad pass, etc., didn't build character, it built a lack of confidence. Every kid is different, our youngest has a terrible situation with the HS coach but plays club for one of the best in the game. because he is older, I think he will build character, but as a younger player you want a coach who develops all the players on the team and teaches team work.
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Let's talk about confidence a moment, seriously.
I realize it is important to give encouragement whenever possible, particularly with a developing player. Find something they do well, like say he is a clearing or GB machine. And generally be much more positive than negative.
But let's say they have a bad habit, like striding when they need to be sprinting from FO wings or snatching at ball rather than receiving the ball with soft hands or hanging their stick and not keeping it tight to body or taking soft sidearm shots. If they just won't improve it, after 1on1 instruction and explanation again and again, what do you do? You can't have drill after drill for entire team to fix the bad habits of a few. Yet there is no question that harping on it hurts their confidence. Yet if those bad habits aren't fixed, they aren't effective on field so it would be false confidence anyway.
I have this problem with a few kids, probably because I coach in a non-hotbed area where we have to take and try to develop some B players with potential in order to have a single-year A team. We've had very good luck turning B players into A players, but some just don't seem to improve and it's mostly a matter of bad habits.
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someone previously made a comment about the 'lax police'. i think thats what we need really. a higher power that directors answer to. if its the team i think it is that did this, the coach/director promised another parent that there would be two teams, an a and a b team, took the parents money and never formed a b team. never refunded the money either. right now there is no recourse for parents of kids with legitimate gripes. why dont the coaches and directors set up something? or does the money grab get in the way of that?
where are all the coaches and directors who post everywhere else about this being 'all about the kids'? shouldnt they be stepping up and doing something about this guy? why would they want this coach/director anywhere near long island lacrosse?
this isnt about coaching a kid with drills all day long who doesnt get better. this is about a coach who wont talk to his player or his players parents. this is a bout a coach who doesnt care about his player, who is just a kid. doesnt the ridiculous amount of money paid to be a part of teams like this get you a conversation? or a modicum of respect? what is this kid going to learn from all of this?
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can't police the Spallina's!!!!!!!!!
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Re: sometimes its NOT all about the kids
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can't police the Spallina's!!!!!!!!! No need, they just outwork you. Don't be bitter, just work harder for your kid and your organization.
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Re: sometimes its NOT all about the kids
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OP
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can't police the Spallina's!!!!!!!!! Its not the spallinas im referring to. I have refrained for now from naming names but i will share the name of the organization and coach\director with anyone who wants to know via pm. In the interim life goes on for me and my family. I appreciate all the constructive posts pm's emails and calls. See u all at the field.
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word up work hard thanks king of lacrosse
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