BOTC - US Lacrosse Community Forum Forums NORTHEAST LACROSSE BOTC MAIN FORUM (LI, CT, WC) ESM Girls Lacrosse

That couldn't be further from the truth! The youth director thinks she's God and stunts the girls growth. From what I saw,she was a pretty nasty coach herself!

Welcome to the new SWR thread.

And there's no way you're on here writing about a team your daughters team played. That's a joke. Coach yelled at your daughter. Coaches yell sometimes. This is sports. Suck it up.

Maybe ESM and Huntington should switch coaches. Sounds like the same exact whining that went on a few weeks for Huntington. What program is next???????

Coaches do yell - that's OK. However, if you are going to yell, you also need to coach. How about pulling the player over and telling them what you would like them do "next time" or what you want them to do differently rather than demeaning them and telling them they suck. Your title is COACH - not SCREAMER, not BULLY.

I'm so sick and tired of the parents who come on here and say - suck it up, get thicker skin, etc. It's OK to tell a player what they did wrong, that is coaching. It's not OK to demean and belittle.

For those parents who say differently, I guess we will agree to disagree; however, if you are OK with a coach demeaning your daughter and say it OK because they are winning, you have some serious issues and I feel for your won child.

For God's sake, take a Positive Coaching Alliance class or something. Stop saying it OK - it's not.

Well said!!!!

PCA is a great class. Took it myself and it sounds as if it's desperately needed at ESM.

More amazing is you would allow your kid to be demeaned and belittled for the sake of playing a high school sport, a lot of people would think that is bad parenting yet you continue to send your kid into that situation so you can say she plays a varsity sport. I have taken the positive coaching alliance so I don't want to break the golden rule but I just could not think of 5 positive things to say about your post.

Who does it bother more? You or your daughter? My daughters coach gets in her face and she respects the [lacrosse] out of him. You see games, not practices. Games are more stressful for players and coaches and do not reflect the overall compassion each have for the game. Maybe you coddle your daughter too much, I don't know, but if you want her to get a medal for showing up then maybe you should direct her to the chess club or Mathletes.

Nothing bad against his daughter. She's a great player. But he got BT the job at ESM because she coached his daughters YJ team. Too close to be impartial to the situation.

Now they are coaching the YJ 2023 team together.

Every coach at EsM should have to take the class... Many of them do not know how to speak to kids

Saw a Dad yelling at his kid after YJ practice a couple weeks ago. She was practically crying. From ESM.

Good point!

Great post!

Just curious why is this all coming out now?? Noone new to the team except for the 8th graders who are getting plenty of playing time and love the coach or maybe that's the problem?? So it was okay for your daughter to be bullied for the past 2 years when she was an 8Th and 9th grader?? Maybe you're the horrible parent, look inward. So answer the question all righteous one, why now???

Its YJ fault. They are the root of all evil in the game of lacrosse.

You are saying a man gets in your daughter's face and she respects the [lacrosse] out of him? Maybe she inherited a warped sense of how respect is earned from you/her parents. What are you teaching her? That it will be ok for a guy or her husband to get in her face and she should repsect that person. You are a failing parent if you allow that to happen.

I can see being stern and even loud at times when needed, but to get in a child's face especially an adolescent girl is sick and the fact that you encourage her to respect the [lacrosse] out of him is sick. Your setting your child up to become a victim of domestic abuse.

"Your setting your child up to become a victim of domestic abuse."

------------------------

"My male lacrosse coach yelled at me at lacrosse practice, now I allow my husband to beat me...." makes sense...

Lets be real...Truths in life...

1. Death
2. Taxes
3. "It is not about the money"... It is about the $$$
4. "Its not you..it's me."... It is YOU

***4. It is always about playing time.

nope. it's coming from players who played a ton too but nice try.

BT is one of the best coaches on the island. She understands the game and works the team. Each player that goes through her is better when they come out. She helps with the strategy on the offensive and defensive end. She helps each player until they get it right and she pushes you to be a better player. She gets her players ready to play at a higher level. She is the best coach ive ever had and i know for a fact i would not have as many oppurtunities that i have had with out her and the rest of the coaching staff. A huge amount of the people on the team are looking to play high level lacrosse in college. You will not always be played and coaching will be just as intense. BT truly cares about the players and wants to see them succeed. Parents are the ones that are ruining this program.

We all know it starts with a grown man who is holding a grudge from years ago. He feeds on the emotions of parents who are unhappy about playing time with their children. This grown man blames BT for everything that is wrong with the lacrosse world according to him. It's actually a little creepy how obsessed he is with her. Ask any parent of past Lacrosse players who they think is behind all this and every one named the same person. You did good things for the community and you're just tarnishing your own reputation with your obsession over a 30 year old young woman. you can suggest positive coaching classes but may I suggest a therapist for you? And just on a side note, three of the BEST players to come out of ESM were at the scrimmage today to see BT and the team. They must really hate her.

Saw this on another thread. I thought it appropriate to post it here considering the coach talk going on.

Jack Nicholson from "A Few Good Men"

Son, we live in a world that has lacrosse and these kids have to be taught it. Who's gonna do it? You? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for your third line middie and you curse the team. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That the middies benching, while tragic, probably scored goals. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, wins games. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that sideline, you need me on that sideline. We use words like cut, pass, slide. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent coaching. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very victories that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a stick, and help my practice. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

You can say any which way you want IT IS ALL ABOUT PLAYING TIME. The three moms complaining are complaining that they're kids don't play. Funny thing is, one of the moms (youth director)was so against selective classification even though her kid is a 10th grader, and is not happy with her kid getting pulled out. The other mom is the former jv
Rocky Point coach whose kids don't get in a lot, also 10th graders. And the 11th grader's mom works at the school and had a sitdown with superintendent about these allegations of bad language being used at practice. The obsessed dad is just using them and they are using him for their own agendas-get the coach out because she doesn't play my kid.
Just own it! It all starts and ends with playing time. Even obsessive dad years ago when his daughter wasn't a starter had the coach at the time removed.

That really is awesome, thanks for the laugh. Unlike Colonel Jessup though, I think some coaches know their intentions are not always noble ( if they are honest with themselves). Jessup, at least, thought his were.

Liar. You're an annoying whiny over dramatic parent. You're destroying your daughters competitive spirit by coddling her. My daughter is strong as [lacrosse]. To even bring up her being a victim of domestic abuse is disgusting. You are disgusting.

Glad I live in another town, Sounds out of control.

She is average at best. From someone who is outside ESM. Her teams are actuall6 getting worse as her career progresses. She had a few good years with girls she only coached a year or so. ow that she has to develop her own talent the teams are getting weaker.

How is the team getting weaker? 11 and 3 record with young players, sounds pretty good to me! Oh and I am still waiting for an answer, why now??

This is a legitimate question? Why have you all endured this for so long without a peep on this board? Seems odd and supports the folks saying this is otherwise motivated.

The team is getting stronger. The above poster refuses to give BT any credit for anything. When they won counties the first time he said they won because of their 5th and 6th grade coach. His hate and weird obsession with her has made it impossible for him to give her the credit she deserves. Sorry your glory days are over, sir. Please go seek the help you need. You are a sad, sad man. Oh, and why now? Let me venture a guess that the last thing Mr. Obsessed Dad wants is for this team to be successful. Stirred the pot last year about the same time, right before playoffs. What better way to rattle a bunch of teenage athletes then to stoke the same "get the coach fired" fire? If the girls make it to counties again and win another championship and he's still complaining the coach needs to go, people are going to start wondering if this guy is working with a full deck. I think people are starting to realize it already.

The worst part is this obsessed dad sent annoynous emails in past years...FACT...that caused young girls to get in trouble all so he could try to weaken the program. We know who did it and guess what it didn't work then it won't work now!!! Move on w your life and leave the program alone you need some serious help!!!

Life truth's...

IT IS ALWAYS ABOUT PLAYING TIME!

"Go play intramurals sista...go play intramurals..."

Finally they are out of the shadow

Maybe this guy needs to be investigated. Seems there's a lot of disturbing things coming out about him and the lengths he will go to to get this coach out. Sounds like bullying and harassment of this coach. And clearly will lie and make stuff up to get what he needs done effectuated. He only needs a few people with a "script" that's he's given them and this is now a mess. The mask eventually slips and his has definitely fell off-we all see him for who he is. Hopefully the board realizes this and when he's promising to get people out to vote for them that no one wants to be connected to this guy anymore.

Go harass your son's college coach. ESM has no use for you anymore!

On May 10, 2015 while my husband was at work a coworker, who is an avid lacrosse parent, came up to my husband with a 5 page print out from this website and asked what is going on at ESM? My husband brought the papers home to me. I was shocked to read what was being put out there.
Like all the parents who have a child on the girls varsity lacrosse team I am aware that there is a situation with the varsity coach. Like all the parents that are talking about this, no one seems to really know what is going on. I, myself, do not know what is going on, yet I am being accused of being the cause of it.
I am 99% sure I believe I know the person behind these accusations but being this person refuses to put their name to it I am unable to confront this person or defend myself.
Unfortunately in today's day and age and these types of websites, people can accuse people of anything and not have to back it up.
As an adult, I am standing behind everything I say and can back my record within the community. I choose not to do what these cowards are doing.
If anyone has any questions I can be approached at the field or however you wish to get in touch with me to discuss what I am being accused of.
Thank you,
Director of ESM Girls Lacrosse
Mary Ellen Dowsett

I am not a ESM parent and so happy you came on! These parents should take some Bully seminars as our children do. Miserable people out there!

First I give you credit for putting your name. That being said no way are most people reading this going to believe you did not know about this site, also it seems the things you have been accused of could be easily refuted but you chose not to ie. kid being selectively classified but now against that opportunity for other peoples kids, and wanting to get rid of yet another coach which is obvious by the " situation with the varsity coach" comment. Also signing as the Director of ESM Girls lacrosse gives the impression that you feel people should be impressed by that. Knowing the ESM coaching staff I am not sure why they would even want to deal with the crazies over there but would venture a guess they feel an obligation to the kids who they have coached for years not to turn the program over to the previously stated crazies.

Mary Ellen,

Now that you have found this site please feel free to contact me, which is something you should have done. I'm Larry and I can be reached at 516.295.0600 and let me see if I can ease your pain, perhaps answer questions, and offer assistance if needed.

I also was alerted to this cowardly attempt to bully people into believing that those who stand on a pedestal and see fit to point anonymous fingers are in fact those "in the right". I do not have children in this school, but I did. I had children who were not just lucky to see the field but earned their playing time. That being said, I was not always a happy camper nor did I think their coaches walked on water because my kids played the sport that they loved. I did not approve of everything that went on with the teams and the coaches. I had a right to my opinion. If I had at any time felt that a coaches behavior was inappropriate, I would have taken some action. Would I have been wrong? No. Would another parent on the team have to agree with me? No. Did they have a right to disagree with me? Yes. If you don't agree with someone else's opinion or their actions, feel free to stand by your coach and support her with dignity instead of trashing people on an anonymous board. I don't need to post my name because I'm not hurting anyone with my post. I'm not calling one individual out as the previous posters have done. It's my point of view regarding what I have read. I think that good wins over evil and if there isn't any truth to what is being said about the coach then she will continue to be the coach. Have faith in your convictions instead of blaming someone who has a different opinion than yours.