Everyone's experience is different. I would only say you don't want to be on anyone's second team. Would rather play for a lesser club and be on their first team
So that is the challenge and why you see the bigger rosters on the AA, because people feel that way and won't put their kid on a B team. People honestly feel that way, I have seen it. However, there are good 2nd team examples where 2nd team's are a lot better than a clubs 1st team. I would rather have my son on a big clubs 2nd team. Why? They can attract better talent in my opinion. But the risk is 2nd team neglect factor. However, the coach is the x factor.
