There is no real answer to this. Its the "you will know when you see it" answer. Some kids need, want to be put in there place. Other kids want you to explain everything to them in a inside voice. I have three kids the older two I tell the coaches to yell and get to the point as fast as you can. With the youngest I tell the coach she plays better if you give her a why and let her know it will make you happy if she does it this way or that.
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