BOTC - US Lacrosse Community Forum Forums NORTHEAST LACROSSE BOTC MAIN FORUM (LI, CT, WC) Girls 2030-6th Grade Fall 2023/Summer 2024

Not sure that’s true. Basically same team returned

Surprisingly the coaching has never impressed me with that 91 team. Teaching young players to foul instead of moving your feet and playing good defense always struck me as weird and not doing right by the girls. Some talented girls there but not the right coaching IMO.

Hot take: Parent coaches with kid on team (that have played the game) are better than paid coaches.

Parent coaches ensure that the team is always in best tournaments and league.
Paid coaches may leave team out to dry if not during tournament season

Totally agree with this

Also overstretched coaches: coaches with too many teams who get pulled in every direction and cannot be fully present.

Have daughters on both ends of this and it is very much the opposite of what your stating here. Its totally situational based and not cut and dry. Can go either way based on each individual club and certainly not a topic that can be generalized

What 2030 teams have coaches that you'd reccomend? Impartial, show up consistently, and are knowledgable of the sport.

Agreed on it being situational. Both of my kids (2025 and 2030) have had parent coaches for most of their club teams and it's been very different.

One is way harder on his/her kid than anyone else. The other lets his/her kid get away with not being worthy of even being on the team, honestly.

Anyone who says this has not had a parent coach or parent coaches negatively affect their daughter. While yes they tend to stay around for the duration cause their kid is on the team most times they are self serving and there to grease the wheels for their kids. That doesn't mean they're not a good coach - but it is definitely self serving. And this is a 2030/6th grade forum. Come back to me when you're kid is in high school and recruiting. I've had two kids come through and both years (24 & 27) the coaches kids played way more than their abilities dictated. Which means while they played someone more deserving was sitting. Even worse some teams have multiple parent coaches. It should be avoided as much as possible. And if not possible it should be cut off by recruiting.

Generally the kid who doesn’t belong will not last- esp on the top level teams

Again, yes and no. For my 2025, the kid has lasted as a starter. For my 2030 coach's kid I can only hope the same thing doesn't happen.

Had 3 parents coaches for soccer this year and all three kids undeservingly started midfield LOL… had to bolt the team mid season. Phew!!

Any movement here… club jumpers etc?

Good question. Also wonder how winter leagues are going?

What winter leagues?
A few adds to 91

As parent with a 30 & 24 that play girls lax I agree with this. For my older daughter, it was a great experience with the team and coaches until these past two summers. The focus shifted from team work and everyone gets time to protecting the rankings and highlighting the coaches daughter. It is so toxic that we are considering sitting out this summer as she is already committed.
My 2030 is on a team with parent coaches and they have been great so far and our team has a large roster. However I know how this will play out and we will be moving to another program without parent coaches.

What 2030 teams have parent coaches??

Anyone?

Parent coaching:
YJ A and B
Igloo A
jesters A

The only non parent A team that I know of is Top Guns.

Igloo, 91, legacy Head coaches all not parents

Those tams are successful…with their parent coaches. Parent coaches are only a problem when their kid stinks but plays a ton and/or the wrong position.

Stopping by to say kudos to the Jesters 16 week indoor training program. This is our first year and this place is a well oiled machine…… think it will be Top 5 national program at most age groups very soon!

YJ B team is out there poaching the B-level programs. Hope those girls are ready to sit.

Which one is the B team?

Things will change as teams look to protect their rankings. You will notice a change in distributing playing time as the starters will play the whole time in “important” games. Most parent coaches teams will have their daughters as starters and this unequal playing time will continue during showcases.
In front on college coaches the game parents will make sure their daughters are on display. Some coaches will only sub once the desired college coach leaves for another field.

I have a two daughter in club and I am finding this to be the case. Coaches kid take draws, run middie, and they are far from best option.
MY one daughter has 4 coaches kids' on team.

All four start and are center pieces while better players are either not playing as much or not in role they should be. I'm not even going to talk on the social cycle and how cliques come into play.

Pretty simple switch teams now. Would not wait until
Summer

I have a two daughter in club and I am finding this to be the case. Coaches kid take draws, run middie, and they are far from best option.
MY one daughter has 4 coaches kids' on team.

All four start and are center pieces while better players are either not playing as much or not in role they should be. I'm not even going to talk on the social cycle and how cliques come into play. (Quote)



If you don't like it go find a better situation. It's easy to blame the coach that puts in endless hours while you the parent doesn't put any time in with your child. Most parents are delusional when it comes to their kid's abilities and point the finger at the coach. The parents I know that coach do it because they love coaching and know that if they leave it to someone else, they risk having their kids exposed to bad coaching. Of course there's an element of prioritizing their kid but that's no different in any other sport or facet of life.

you don't like it go find a better situation. It's easy to blame the coach that puts in endless hours while you the parent doesn't put any time in with your child. Most parents are delusional when it comes to their kid's abilities and point the finger at the coach. The parents I know that coach do it because they love coaching and know that if they leave it to someone else, they risk having their kids exposed to bad coaching. Of course there's an element of prioritizing their kid but that's no different in any other sport or facet of life.[/quote]

This attitude is so pervasive. I'm putting in endless hours too and I'm dumping $3,200 in to the team. There's no need for one parent coach much less four!!!! That's four spot sewn up on a team. This had to have been written by a parent coach

This attitude is so pervasive. I'm putting in endless hours too and I'm dumping $3,200 in to the team. There's no need for one parent coach much less four!!!! That's four spot sewn up on a team. This had to have been written by a parent coach[/quote]

What team has 4 coaches?!! Hard enough to find one

Dad Coach Here. Terrible take. At the youth level (especially below MS) its' really not realistic to have paid non-Dad coaches. Its not common to see an example of a team without 1. If it was realistic to have more paid coaches (there are not enough available) its likely your club dues would be substantially higher to maintain margins. Do you want to see that at the youth levels? Not many do. Having said we've all seen poor examples of Dad coaches. I myself try to be be as fair as I can on playing time and avoid biases. Many coaches do a great job though in this regard. Some unfortunately do not.

Do your homework and try to avoid places with a reputation of these issues. If there is an opportunity to play somewhere where the coaches child is playing a different position as your son you should go that direction if that's so important to you and you are concerned. You are the consumer in the end and choose the best option for you based on what is available. And if you aren't comfortable with any option.... you don't have to play either.

There are entire programs without parent coaches. There are also entire programs with entirely paid female coaching staffs.

I will say that often parent coaches are HARDER on their own kid. I saw that with my son's club team for many years. No one was harder on the coach's son than the coach.

This attitude is so pervasive. I'm putting in endless hours too and I'm dumping $3,200 in to the team. There's no need for one parent coach much less four!!!! That's four spot sewn up on a team. This had to have been written by a parent coach[/quote]

Absolutely written by parent coach. No one is forcing these parent coaches to coach, they do it for one main reason, to get their kids an advantage. Do they love lax too? Do they want to grow the game? Then coach Rec and teach it to more kids who can't afford club.

Sorry, people in charge should be held accountable. The "How dare someone question me" attitude is big part of the problem. The coaches always say "communication is key, please feel free to discuss" but as this poster points out, deep down, what you say will be held against your kid.

What 2030 teams have parent coaches??[/quote]

Anyone?[/quote]

A simple google search would've given you the answer. All yellow jackets 30's have parent coaches. Some teams have more then one. Jesters , Team 91. All you have to do is look. It's at every club. I actually do concede finding paid coaches is hard so I'll say no parent coaches once into middle school (6th or 7th). Definitely not in recruiting.

Absolutely written by parent coach. No one is forcing these parent coaches to coach, they do it for one main reason, to get their kids an advantage. Do they love lax too? Do they want to grow the game? Then coach Rec and teach it to more kids who can't afford club.

Sorry, people in charge should be held accountable. The "How dare someone question me" attitude is big part of the problem. The coaches always say "communication is key, please feel free to discuss" but as this poster points out, deep down, what you say will be held against your kid.[/quote]

Again, see dad coach comment above. Instead of complaining about dad coaches, take your money somewhere else. But you simply can’t ignore the fact that the top clubs have parent coaches (yj, jesters, heros, aces).

I just don't think that there are enough quality experienced dedicated paid coaches around that are willing to coach purely other kids for the pay they get. Agreed that some parents are not qualified to be a coach and teams that have more than 1 or 2 parent coaches are inexcusable. But if I were a highly succesful college or HS lax coach, why would I pay someone less qualified than me to coach? I'm not a parent coach. My girls have had parent coaches (shouldn't coach to begin with) that have negatively affected them big time and also paid coaches that just couldn't show up consistently because of their full time jobs or not good enough. They also have had parent coaches that are providing them top notch training and mostly fair. It's not like there are many club options out there when you have to consider the proximity, the skill levels and the training. We just have to look at the trade-offs. Parent coaches are necessary.

Anyone know if Shamrock Shootout in Farmingdale is 7v7?

To have non parent coaches who show up consistently is a dime a dozen.

I’ve never seen as young of a dirty team as the 2030 Massapequa team. Wow. Could easily have been more yellow cards.

What happened ?