BOTC - US Lacrosse Community Forum Forums MID-ATLANTIC LACROSSE MARYLAND FORUM Boys 2029 Grads - Mid Atlantic Region

The reality is the better players in MD are holdbacks/prefirst/reclass or whatever you want to call them. I cant understand why this is such a torment for people from MD .

If you want to be the best, you play in the MIAA, The MIAA is a holdback league , there is no doubt about that. Dont understand the excuses.

Not to be captain obvious, but if any of the HOCO teams cared about WS, they would figure out a way to do it.

Never happen because there wouldn’t be enough kids on age 😂😂😂

Isn’t that what True is?

Who cares about WS. You are absolutely right any elite me team that wants to play in it would do it. WS means nothing to most. #reallygoodmarketing #hybridteams

I can’t speak to other age groups but there are a ton of NLF age complaint 2029’s in Maryland that are some of the best players in the nation.

Consider that only a handful of kids were displaced from elite hoco teams due to age verification. That means the vast majority of these teams are on age.

Not so fast Skippy, The age verification rules are not as stringent as WS rules, there would undoubtedly be more than a small handful at that point.

Stop defending the obvious and embrace it MD parents! If you believe recessing provides an advantage, good for you. Make the decision and live with it. If you are one of the few that didn’t make the decision, just know most of your son’s teammates did so standing on your soap-box doesn’t resonate. Facts are facts

I just read something regarding age verification and holdbacks. Not an exact quote. No one would ever hold back a student to get an academic advantage. Actually it's the reverse, students. are pushed to be in advanced classes, higher more challenging learning, and even for those that are gifted place them up a grade. This a true advantage. However, in sports when a player is held back, it is not for their ability to be advanced and challenged but rather for an advantage based on their age and physical growth in order to achieve a goal through playing at a less challenging level. In academic terms its like a 9th grader taking 6th grade math for no other reason than the grade they are in (not because of academic difficulties). Just a thought.

The interesting this is that the non hotbeds have just about equaled the northeast in frequency of holdbacks. Teams from GA, CA, TX etc are just as loaded with reclasses as 2way or Crabs.

Nice analogy, and very good way to look at this completely out of control thing in the lacrosse world. Saying that, nothing will change as the private schools ( the ones that scream character education) encourage it , all in the name of education. Which is hilarious, as anywhere else, the brightest kids are pushed ahead.

Kids learn better by being pushed? Someone watched too much Doogie Howser, M.D. growing up.

Kids aren't robots, they're all different. Who are you to say what age is appropriate any more than the government. Let schools and parents decide.

The egos on this site are something else.

Why is the hawks playing zone now?

90% of the holdbacks have parents who played lower level D1 or D3, knowing the holdback extra advantage will get them to higher level D1.

No the point was that the idea of "hold backs" for sports is the antithesis of how most parents view academics which is they want their kids to be ahead of what grade level they are in (ie. a kid in seventh grade taking math that is for ninth graders) and most parents are pushing their kids in higher level academic classes that are above their age/grade level.

It's a bizarre practice to hold kids back to compete against younger kids-most parents would not want their seventh grader sitting in a sixth grade level math class but maybe since you are so dense you would want your kid in that class. But here we are....

So you are saying let parents decide. Parent - "He Honey let's have little Jonnie take kindergarten again so when he plays pockets lacrosse he is the best. And when he gets to sixth grade lets have him repeat it so he can be "the best player on the field" so he can get one of the 12 lacrosse scholarships on a college team! It's a win win win for us!"

I think the poster is saying to push students to the best of their ability. As a parent you should know where that line is. And yes it is different for everyone. However lowering the kids ability threshold, for the sake of an advantage in a game is detrimental to the kids future.

"Kids aren't robots, they're all different. Who are you to say what age is appropriate any more than the government. Let schools and parents decide." Yes correct on the statement kids aren't robots and letting parents decide is great. Schools should focus on academic achievement rather than sports successes. So if a student is held back for academics it's great for the student. How does academic hold back affect play on the field. It really doesn't unless there is diagnosed cognitve and developmental disabilities which affects perception, attention, memory, decision-making, and reaction time.

But let's be honest, the pipe dream of scholarship and athletic glory is in the back of all our minds.

Yes, kids need to be pushed; especially the youth of America today. Kids are soft and it’s because of parents like you. The second a child faces adversity, you decide to hold him back and find success? Awful
Do you let your son decide how hard he wants to work? Part of parenting is putting your child in challenging environments so they are prepared for life. Giving them the easy way out teaches nothing. You learn more from losing than you do winning, that’s a basic fact
You should be embarrassed bro.

Don’t be silly. You make it sound like there are no talented on age kids.

I am convinced the hold back complainers are parents of:

A) a kid who made, but is not getting time on an elite team
B) a kid who is on a B team and you think they should be on A
C) a kid who is just not there yet, but you think he should be on a better team

I get it. Been there, done that. Your kid is going to be as good as their talent and work will take them. Our job as parents is to provide opportunities, support and pay. Blaming the system and hold backs is a cop out. It’s only going to get harder as they get older. The kids riding the bench on D1 - D3 teams are still some of the top players in the country.

Why are parents bent out of shape over holdbacks?
There is still a solution for those parents who won't do it.

Let your kid take a post grad year at Hill or IMG and get looks. Gets them a year older and bigger for college.

Problem solved.

Thank you. This right here is the answer.

Being concerned that someone held their kid back in kindergarten for sports glory is embarrassing. Nobody is doing that, and even if they are who cares. These are children playing a game. Funny someone gave the other poster a hard time for being soft all the while complaining about wins and losses of a middle school sport. Get a clue "bro."

Nailed it...

You miss the point; we get it, holdbacks are a part of life, a part of the sport. My son has two on his team, it’s life.
But admit you do it for sports and sports only. Admit you do it so you can look better in front of your friends. Admit you didn’t because your son isn’t good enough.
When you decide to be honest, well let it go…I’ll wait

Is anyone upset that parents made a decision to "hold back" a kid in kindergarten? I've never seen this -- or met anyone upset at this. This is completely understandable.

The holdback frustration comes from the parents holding back their 3rd line middie in 7th or 8th grade so that they can move up to the 2nd or 1st line at a younger age group by playing agaisnt smaller, less developed kids. This happens frequently. In Maryland and outside Maryland. I know ALOT of people defend this - but I personally don't understand it.

Is this thread equating the two? I know the current rules don't differentiate. But its a false argument to say people are upset at the kindergarten holdbacks. They are not. Or at least I've never met one that is.

Great analogy. Had not considered that viewpoint but I agree. Kid will likely develop much faster playing UP.

I don’t even have a hold back and this is possibly the most ridiculous thing I have seen. Admit? Admit and we’ll let it go? Who is we? Maybe worry less about what other people do and move on from this tired troupe.

I held back my son in kindergarten. there was a multitude of reasons for that, none of which had anything to do with sports. He was diagnosed with a severe learning disability and was not even on the growth chart from a percentage perspective (meaning his height and weight were very low for his age). We held him back so that he had more time adjust to these challenges and we are glad that we did for his own personal development.
He is now the oldest player on this team. he is also still the smallest player on his team. He is not the best player and he is not the worst player. We have no illusions. He has had to deal with more adversity in his young life than most of his peers. He is a holdback... but certainly not for sports reasons.

Sounds like you've got it all figured out.

You should see the line at the hospitals in Maryland where they do the sports assessments at birth. It's a total racket.

Most dont care who and how many times you hold back your son, What business is it besides the parent.

What most do care about , is letting this child get an advantage others born on say exact day, that dont get in YOUTH SPORTS. Playing down against others in youth sports is wrong and everyone knows it.

In High School you get your holdback advantage and most deal with it, as there is a 4 year spread. But the quarter zip MIAA parents cant have that, they need their son beating up on younger children.

Maybe the MIAA parents figure that allowing children to play with their friends and have fun takes priority over your ego.

Your reason for holding your kid back in kindergarten is absolutely fine, accepted, and a clear developmental reason. i applaud your decision because it can be a difficult for families. I think the point of the discussion is when parents use it as an advantage for sport or to gain an advantage. I think it occurs more in third grade to 8th grade.

Do coaches and schools really promote this holdback philosophy for sport? Just curious. Is it a bigger problem then it appears?

I hope your son has benefited from being held back, I really do. Is there anything wrong w/ being held back for school but playing lax on-age? Size doesn’t make a player; I’ve seen plenty of studs, in all sports, that are not big.
If you held your son back b/c of a learning disability, that shouldn’t impact which age group he plays sports against.

He really just wants to play with his friends and bond with his classmates through sports. He (and we) don’t have anything to prove to anybody. He plays with the kids in his class. Nothing more or less.

No MIAA parents do it for the same reasons most holdback parents do, to give their son an advantage , either for academics or sports , thats their choice as a parent, which is fine, but doesnt give them or their child some special right to play down against other children in youth sports or make their ego soar.

And this is from a MIAA parent who has heard every thing a holdback parent could say about the "reason" .

As an MIAA parent, how do you handle your kid playing school sports against mixed grade competition? I think I'm going to make my son sit out games where they play younger mixed grade teams since that's really only fair. You do the same I guess? How does your son feel about it, does he still go to games to cheer for his school?

Do the girls forum complain this much? Tired of hearing about it. Give the parents and teams the credit they deserve. For every 100 holdbacks, 5-6 make a difference. If a TEAM can’t stop 1 or 2 players, they are not a good team. At this age just shut up and watch your kid play.

Spoken like a MIAA holdback parent,,,Changing the goalposts to justify your holdback playing youth sports outside of school, Once again, It is your child, hold him back 5 times, it is your right,
Your lame " reason" , If I am so high and almighty, i should have my son sit when playing against older children at school. You sound like a real winner. My child deals with it as he is athletic and can compete, unlike many others who messed up by not holding their child back. it was odd when he went to birthdays in lower school and always asked me why are they so old.

FYI, Holdbacks werent allowed in lacrosse youth sports in Balt until about 10 years ago due to HOCO and its grade based league started and run by a MIAA holdback parent. His excuse, Recruiting was done at 8/9th grade and we needed to go grade. Of course , recruiting is now done in HS, but we still have the grade based league, LOL ... For some reason there was no need to have children play down for prior 50 years , what a thought, Not letting children play down against younger children. The horror of the holdbacks to not get an advantage and playdown with their schoolmates.

If you had a girl you would know, most are done maturing and growing by end of 8th grade. It is also on a lesser scale the amount, but growing.

If you think it isnt a big issue with boys, you need to look around. Most elite players from all over country are either held back now, or on the older birthday for on age . There are a very minimum of elite players on age born between May and August. Pretty sad they cant compete unless heldback.

The best rule change change would be to do away with grades in youth and put birthday for holdbacks like May , but let anyone play that is born on that date, not just holdbacks. That gives holdbacks a chance to play with schoolmates and anyone else that wants to. Seems fair .

That is fine, but many holdbacks are very good athletes on age and super good if playing down a year. Not right for youth sports no matter how you justify it, schoolmates, grade, etc..

Are you suggesting girls are more emotional than boys? This forum should be tougher because it’s for boys?
If you’re tired of hearing/reading it, leave the site you clown.
Know this as fact - Your son is weak, little and untalented.

Wow attacking kids on the site."Know this as fact - Your son is weak, little and untalented." Real Mature. Leave the kids out of it. Celebrate their accomplishments and help make them better players and even better people. Comments like this translate into your kid copying you on the field and end up being known as that kid. SMH