BOTC - US Lacrosse Community Forum Forums NORTHEAST LACROSSE BOTC MAIN FORUM (LI, CT, WC) Age and Reclassification. The good the bad the ugly!

I could care less what team wins. My son is 8. I’m talking about individual players. Not score results of games. Again he is 8. Truth of the matter is, I’d be embarrassed if my son went against 6 and 7 year olds. I’d feel embarrassed telling my son good game. That’s just me.

Same on my kids team. One of those kids had a great game last spring. I was driving my son and his friend home after the game. I remember saying, so and so had a great game. He is really good. The boys started giggling they were in 3rd grade. I said what’s so funny. They said you know he was left back. He is older than everyone else. The next practice I spoke to another couple dads. He wasn’t left back, his parents held him back. He is a really good player, but against younger kids, he is off the charts good. I’d also be embarrassed by this. How his parents can sit and watch the game, cheer like everything is all peachy is laughable. Plus all the kids know this. For a parent to do this to his son at this young age, embarrassing. You want your son to be off the charts good. Do it the right way. Practice hard. Get him training. That’s the way to do it.

The parents do it because they think they have everything figured out. They could care less who they may be hurting. Cheating and lying are intentional practices. We all know who you are and will be routing against your kid. I love the honest hardworking warriors out there....go get it!

This thread has become boring to the point of being irrelevant. The non stop complaining about a kid who happens to be 6 or 9 months older then other kids being what justifies him being a superior player is dense and long in the tooth. My son plays basketball and lacrosse. He has kids who are young in both seasons who have or currently play-up in age and were/are top players. Likewise there are kids on these teams who are on grade but younger then others who are superior players. During the basketball season his team played against, and beat teams, that were a grade older then them. Why? The guys on his team, whether young or on grade, were better players then the other guys despite the other guys being older, a little bigger and stronger.

Likewise, when I was a kid I played both sandlot sports and organized sports. On the sand lot I played against guys 2 and 3 years older then me. Competing against these guys these guys “in no blood / no foul” games made me a much better player in organized sports despite me being a non “holdback” with an August birthday. During high school I was always one of the better players on the team, was a varsity basketball starter as a sophomore and team captain in my jr and sr years despite being way younger then the other guys on the team.

Sports, like in life, will see the cream rise. If your son or his team cannot hang against a team that has two or three kids 6 or 9 months older them him please accept the fact that your son or his team just are not as good as the other team. Constant blaming, crying or calling foul only demeans your son, his team and you. As the slogan goes - “Nobody cares, work harder!”

First off it’s not my magic cutoff date. It’s the lacrosse date used. Secondly I said 8 year olds playing 6 and 7 year olds. That means 1 to 2 years. Stop twisting things. My son is playing his grade. He is April. Now if I hold him back a year, he will play kids 1 year to possibly 2 years younger than him. If I were to watch my son run up and down the field on these younger kids, I’d feel like an embarrassment. That’s all I’m saying. I don’t need to walk in other peoples shoes. What does that even mean?. Walk in their shoes to have an 8 year old play younger kids. What kind of response is that. Discussion over.

Same on my kids team. One of those kids had a great game last spring. I was driving my son and his friend home after the game. I remember saying, so and so had a great game. He is really good. The boys started giggling they were in 3rd grade. I said what’s so funny. They said you know he was left back. He is older than everyone else. The next practice I spoke to another couple dads. He wasn’t left back, his parents held him back. He is a really good player, but against younger kids, he is off the charts good. I’d also be embarrassed by this. How his parents can sit and watch the game, cheer like everything is all peachy is laughable. Plus all the kids know this. For a parent to do this to his son at this young age, embarrassing. You want your son to be off the charts good. Do it the right way. Practice hard. Get him training. That’s the way to do it.

This guy is right and on top of this the states have different grade cut off so this holdback thing is even more complicated. My kid is March school cut off is December he is 9 months older than some December kid. The holdback is August/Sept he is 7 months older than my kid. He is 16 months older than the December kid. Now go to a state with September cutoff take a holdback from that state add another 6 months. They are are the same grade at a travel tournament. My kid can't cut it,I will let him beat on younger kids. The only magic is the parent cheating. We all know magic is illusion and tricks.

This guy is right and on top of this the states have different grade cut off so this holdback thing is even more complicated. My kid is March school cut off is December he is 9 months older than some December kid. The holdback is August/Sept he is 7 months older than my kid. He is 16 months older than the December kid. Now go to a state with September cutoff take a holdback from that state add another 6 months. They are are the same grade at a travel tournament. My kid can't cut it,I will let him beat on younger kids. The only magic is the parent cheating. We all know magic is illusion and tricks.

More embarrassing to me are the parents who moan and complain on the sidelines when a big kid outplays their kid or team. My son is a tall, good player (from MD). Every time we play a NY team I hear dads complaining that he's a hold back when he scores. I am 6'2, my wife is almost 6'0, he is on grade. bigger doesn't mean hold back.

Again, discussion over. It’s like talking to robots. Seniors playing against freshman. . Freshman playing against seniors. That’s High school. Do you not here well? I’m talking youth. My 8 year old playing against 6 and 7 year olds, would be an embarrassment. Watching my kid run through younger kids, I’d feel ashamed. Now some other guy is saying he is 6 foot 2. I’m not talking size. Do you hear well too. I don’t care if your youth kid is 6 foot 8. I’m talking about youth holdbacks. Parents who do this, in my opinion, are embarrassments. Normal parents are talking behind your backs, they are bad mouthing you.

Why do you think that life is fair? Its not and never will be. Competition in youth sports is optional. You know what you are getting into when you sign up. Yes it stinks that there are cheaters and amoral leaders. Its not going to change until "you" change. The governing bodies are feckless because they are concerned about protecting the organization above its members. So choose. Work your butt off for change, or survive the system and see what happens. IMO there are bigger issues to tackle before we can get to this one. In hindsight one day I suspect you will realize it never really mattered anyway. While living it, its angering. Think of it this way, encourage your son to play, have fun, even if its for a B team, train, get better, and if he wants to kick butt in HS, get prepared.

Why do you think that life is fair? Its not and never will be. Competition in youth sports is optional. You know what you are getting into when you sign up. Yes it stinks that there are cheaters and amoral leaders. Its not going to change until "you" change. The governing bodies are feckless because they are concerned about protecting the organization above its members. So choose. Work your butt off for change, or survive the system and see what happens. IMO there are bigger issues to tackle before we can get to this one. In hindsight one day I suspect you will realize it never really mattered anyway. While living it, its angering. Think of it this way, encourage your son to play, have fun, even if its for a B team, train, get better, and if he wants to kick butt in HS, get prepared.

I still don't understand what makes lacrosse so special that it is the only sport still organized by grade instead of age. Not whining, just haven't heard a coherent argument for why that should be.

I still don't understand what makes lacrosse so special that it is the only sport still organized by grade instead of age. Not whining, just haven't heard a coherent argument for why that should be.

It doesn't matter... if the kids are good enough, they are good enough. Regardless of age. Freshman play varsity against seniors and seniors play against freshman. Just play. If you are good, you won't get missed.

I still don't understand what makes lacrosse so special that it is the only sport still organized by grade instead of age. Not whining, just haven't heard a coherent argument for why that should be.

The question isn’t about the governing body of lacrosse. I agree, they allow this. The question is simply to the parents of other kids. Parents of a youth holdbacks. The question is what do you feel like watching your older son, run through kids 1 to 2 years younger. Not high school parents, not college parents. Youth parents. I just want to know that answer. What do you feel when you see your son doing this? Just answer the question.

Again, discussion over. It’s like talking to robots. Seniors playing against freshman. . Freshman playing against seniors. That’s High school. Do you not here well? I’m talking youth. My 8 year old playing against 6 and 7 year olds, would be an embarrassment. Watching my kid run through younger kids, I’d feel ashamed. Now some other guy is saying he is 6 foot 2. I’m not talking size. Do you hear well too. I don’t care if your youth kid is 6 foot 8. I’m talking about youth holdbacks. Parents who do this, in my opinion, are embarrassments. Normal parents are talking behind your backs, they are bad mouthing you.

I agree, but still after all this back and fourth, still no answer from a holdback parent. I’m asking that simple question. What does it feel like when your youth child runs through kids 1 to 2 years younger? I’d be so embarrassed. That’s me. I’m asking you. Just answer. I don’t want to here life is unfair. I don’t want to hear about private school tuitions. I don’t want to here how it will prepare them for high school. I don’t want to here how you were captain in 11th and 12th grade. I don’t want to hear how tall you and your wife are. I got all that. That’s called changing the topic. The topic and the question once again. How would it feel if your 8 year old son ran through the 6 and 7 year old kids playing against him? Answer the question.

My kid is not a hold back. I have answered this question and seen it answered here many times. The overwhelming majority of parents that have holdbacks did not do it for a lax advantage, if you think they do, you have more of an issue then you think and more of an issue then holdback parents, it's crazy to think they do. The problem is they fall in a particular friend group and class (because they are held back before they can start school for myriad of developmental, parents moving or hundreds of other scenarios) and start there younger years playing with all there friends and in pre-k and K people aren't searching forholdbacks to call out. So then they move to the next little pee wee league with their buddys and friends and then the travel stuff starts and they move with the kids they know and have always played with. Parent's aren't taking the kids away from their friends for 4 years and moving them somewhere else. The parents don't feel anything because they are still playing with the same kids they did their entire life and nothing has ever changed. It is not right it is not wrong, it is just what it is.

Let's try it again. They DO NOT FEEL ANYTHING BECAUSE THEIR KID IS PLAYING WITH THE SAME GROUP OF KIDS HIS ENTIRE LIFE SO THEY DON'T REALLY REALIZE ANYTHING IS WRONG. THEY DIDN'T HOLD THEIR KID BACK FOR SPORTS SO THERE IS NOTHING ABNORMAL TO THEM. JOHNNY IS PLAYING WITH THE SAME KIDS HE DID 3 YEARS AGO BUT IS BIGGER

My kid is not a hold back. I have answered this question and seen it answered here many times. The overwhelming majority of parents that have holdbacks did not do it for a lax advantage, if you think they do, you have more of an issue then you think and more of an issue then holdback parents, it's crazy to think they do. The problem is they fall in a particular friend group and class (because they are held back before they can start school for myriad of developmental, parents moving or hundreds of other scenarios) and start there younger years playing with all there friends and in pre-k and K people aren't searching forholdbacks to call out. So then they move to the next little pee wee league with their buddys and friends and then the travel stuff starts and they move with the kids they know and have always played with. Parent's aren't taking the kids away from their friends for 4 years and moving them somewhere else. The parents don't feel anything because they are still playing with the same kids they did their entire life and nothing has ever changed. It is not right it is not wrong, it is just what it is.

Let's try it again. They DO NOT FEEL ANYTHING BECAUSE THEIR KID IS PLAYING WITH THE SAME GROUP OF KIDS HIS ENTIRE LIFE SO THEY DON'T REALLY REALIZE ANYTHING IS WRONG. THEY DIDN'T HOLD THEIR KID BACK FOR SPORTS SO THERE IS NOTHING ABNORMAL TO THEM. JOHNNY IS PLAYING WITH THE SAME KIDS HE DID 3 YEARS AGO BUT IS BIGGER