BOTC - US Lacrosse Community Forum Forums NORTHEAST LACROSSE BOTC MAIN FORUM (LI, CT, WC) Girls High School Lax

GO TO GOAL !!!!!!!

The flip side being your daughter thinking she is a one-woman show and trying to power through all defenders and turning over the ball. There's no glory there and yet we see it all the time.

You can’t win if you’re not scoring goals. Bottom line. From what I see there are very few teams have enough depth where there is confidence that the ball will be caught and a turnover will not happen. Yea, if you play for Mt Sinai, good passing is a luxury they enjoy, due to how serious the majority of girls take lacrosse, for many other teams/schools, there are only 4-5 girls with that level of talent so the best chance to win means keeping the ball in those girls stick. I know how hard my own daughter works and am also quite aware of the lack of work of the girls whose parents are complaining. That being said, you can’t play by yourself, so I really hope to see some girls step up their effort.

Is this a joke?

You must be a real treat on the sidelines. Let me guess. Your daughter plays for YJ?

Nope, it's the reason why some teams are great, and some aren't. Some HS teams have 10-15 high level commits, where others have 2-3. Not saying every HS player wants to go on and play in college, but it's tough when some girls take the sport very seriously and others could care less. But it's those that don't do anything to get better who complain that nobody passes to them!

Pretty accurate. Harsh but accurate. Get your kid to a clinic and on the Wall.

I love it! the club parent that everyone hates. My girl is great. She puts the time in. She's getting recruited. Your kid can't keep up so my daughter has to score 10 a game instead of passing. Its painful to share a sideline with people like this but unfortunately this is the club parent mentality and usually a YJ parent

With those comments that girl will never get recruited due to her stunad parent.

despite the disdain, those girls get recruited all the time. I have shared the sidelines with some of the biggest stunad parents (YJ and TG included, not to mention many others in and out of NY) and have seen their kids get recruited to top D1 schools despite them. In fact, let's face it, if the kid is flashy and scoring goals she'll get noticed, and as much as the college coaches preach teamwork, and parents sideline behavior, and social media smarts talent trumps it all. FTR, i'm not a bitter parent, my daughter doesn't steal the show on the field, and as parents don't say much during or after games, but she did commit to a top 20 program on her own merit. Furthermore, I don't think it's beneficial for talented players to be stuck on Middle School teams with kids that can't catch, but if it has to happen because the HS is too deep to take more girls then stink it up. Part of the process

You are correct. Many of the so called "club parents" are very tough to listen to or to be around. We have some that are beyond obnoxious, their actions and manipulation behind the scene, their comments, coaching and yelling on the sideline as well as their social media nonsense are all distasteful and overbearing. These parents have hijacked the sport, most of them know very little about the game or competitive team sports in general. There are very few "legit" players in each class on Long Island. The problem is that many of the parents think that because their daughter is going to play Division I that she is an elite player (not the case). I have a 2019 committed to a mid level DI program and no, my kid is not elite. Maybe there on 10 - 12 players per year on Long Island who are "high-end, legit, elite" players. Girls lacrosse is not girls soccer or basketball. In lacrosse If you put in the work you can play DI. By the way, the majority of the offensive "club parents" are not the parents of the kids going to Maryland, North Carolina, Boston College, Northwestern etc... they are the parents of players going to mid to low-end programs. Here is a dose of reality for the odious "club parents".

Marist... is not Maryland.
Vermont... is not Virginia.
New Hampshire... is not Northwestern.
Cornell... is not Carolina.
BU..... is not BC.

It is what it is.

If you want to know where your daughter stands just look at the programs that are making offers. If it's Carolina, Maryland, Boston College, Northwestern, Duke, Virginia etc.. it's pretty safe to say that your kid is "legit". On the other hand, if the offers are coming from UConn, Lehigh, Delaware, Drexel etc... she is most likely not a high-end player. Not disrespecting players or programs just pointing out reality to the deplorable.

Hope some of the loathsome "club parents" tone it down a bit. Not all are abhorrent...

Sorry for the soapbox rant : ) ... Had to get it out before the season begins.

Im not sure what your point is? All of these are good schools? For the smart "club parenT" which I am .... my daughter is looking at the quality of educATION SHE will be getting above all else. Is it a good fit? You don't have to be the top ten elite athlete to get the most of what lax can offer? We are not going to the olympics, we are not going PRO after college...so if I look at that list...my kid would be looking at Cornell and VT....seriously...what is the point....here ????

Actually....lacrosse is about to become an Olympic sport!

Don’t fool yourself you are not all that smart. Quality of education and you pick VT . Of the schools mentioned you are way off base.

What's the point???? clearly you are one of those parents if you don't get what the point is. I am sure I will see you at HS games this spring yelling for your kid to go to goal when the team is up by 20. Make sure to save all those Newsday clippings. Have fun at Gardner Webb, LIU Brooklyn or Delaware state. The LI clubs like to send their studs there after all its D1!

Makes the $50 grand you spent on club all worth it. $7,500 a year to go to one of the schools is like hitting LOTTO

Be happy if your daughter is playing in HS and even happier if she will have the opportunity to compete in college at any level. The post was obviously directed at a certain segment of parents. Not all "club parents" are obnoxious but there are definitely certain ones who are absolutely too much. The ones who coach from the sideline, constantly encourage their daughter to "go to goal", know nothing about the game (yet talk as if they are an authority), contact HS coaches and athletic directors behind the scene, boast of their daughters ability and accolades, bash other players who garner more accolades or attention from college coaches, rip UA, IL etc... every time their daughter is not selected or recognized, make excuse after excuse why their daughter did not make a list or team or receive offers from top college programs. These are the same parents who go nuts on the sideline when players other than their daughter drop a pass, miss a shot, lose the ball, get beat on D etc... They think their daughter is a superstar but she is not. Most of the time the daughter is a decent player but not really high-end. The problem is the parents refuse to see it, they think she is a stud.

As far as education goes, lacrosse should be used to get into the best school possible and possibly help to make education more affordable.

The top players will have their choice of schools. All other players will find a good fit but they generally will not be able to choose a top program.

Maryland, North Carolina, Virginia, Penn State, Boston College, Northwestern, Notre Dame, Princeton, Penn, Stanford, Duke, USC, Georgetown, Hopkins, Syracuse, Loyola, Florida are more times than not the destinations for the best HS players. Stony Brook has obviously had some incredible players the past several years but I have been told that those players were slightly under the radar in HS (not sure that I buy that completely).

For the most part, all of the other schools recruit the players that the above do not take.

Maybe one of the points of the other post was to tell the obnoxious parents to pipe down a bit, you kid is good but not as good as you think. If she were as good as you think she would be going to BC, UNC, Northwestern, Maryland etc... sit back and enjoy the game, stop coaching from the sideline, stop telling your kid to shoot every time she touches the ball, stop bashing the weaker players, stop politicking etc... enjoy the ride and be happy if she finds a great school to go to.

"As far as education goes, lacrosse should be used to get into the best school possible and possibly help to make education more affordable. "
Agree with most of your post except this. Just because you can get into Vanderbilt does not mean you should go there , school needs to be a good academic and social fit etc. Have heard from several players and parents that if their kid had it to do again they would pick another school for many different reasons, sometimes just being in a different time zone ie the west coast is just too far from home etc.

For you newbies you do realize that your kid will be going to college to major in lacrosse right? She will spend more time on the sport then she ever will on her education as most teams are a full time. Pick a school that she would want to stay at if she quit the team or got injured. Cant keep count of how many kids my daughters know that went from being the go to club girl to riding the bench in college becoming disenchanting with the sport and the school and transferring out. If its the right school the lax is gravy

Another factor to think about is the D1 stars usually are majoring in advanced liberal arts women studies or communications because they can't handle the academics. Look on the Ivy rosters even and you will see girls who wasted 4 years playing lacrosse. No one besides lax crazy parents even care about college lax . Let them find the right fit of academics with lacrosse being a student athlete not athlete student.

Wasted??? My older daughter is at a top 50 school with a business minor. She did two high level internships and will graduate with a job lined up in finance for a big time company where she will be trained. Don’t underestimate the connections and alumni network. Nobody cares what your major is. Good athletes get good jobs due to their work ethic. Now stop whining and teach your daughter to catch the ball. Can’t stand the notIntelligent jealous posts!

Loyola- good lacrosse, mediocre academics, not too hard to get into

My daughter was told engineering wasn't a good fit for her and the team. Now realistically she was a mid roster player so the coaches weren't cutting her much slack. My older daughter knows two girls who played for D1 teams ranked 75-100 where they were encouraged not to pursue nursing and now after they have graduated in four years they they are going back for another 2 years to a local school to get their nursing degrees. I don't get it but their parents were very happy they played in college

A lot of our club girls ended up at great D3 engineering schools instead and are now set for life and got to play and start every game for 4 years. My D was pre -med and had to take labs 7:30-10:30 at night after practices at a midlevel D1. The coach did not like it but she got it done and played a lot. Now she is in Medical school-not going back to school to start again. I think the parents like that the girls play , as much as the girls like to play. We personally did not have the extra money to waste.

Don't waste your time responding to the jealous haters. The haters have been on this site from the begining trying to tear down any player who is stronger than their daughter. They tear dow the players who go to the Top College Programs, they tear down the players who make Under Armour, they tear down "Division I" as a whole... You will hear the claims of how the player will never see the field, how 50% quit, how they will major in basket weaving, the only reason they were ranked by Inside Lacrosse is because their father is connected, the only reason they were recruited by ND is because of their club director etc... I can not count the times they bring up how D III is the far superior choice. Oh, and they love engineering and nursing... some would have you think that those are the only two majors worth pursuing. News flash many kids have no interest in either. The haters also frown upon coaching as a profession. I love the way they always phrase it : "my daughter chose DIII for the academics" as if DI academics stink. Most go DIII because they do not receive any offers from quality Division I programs.

These haters want us all to believe that if your daughter goes to play Division I she will: ride the bench, quit, transfer, study a meaningless major, waste her time, become a full time summer club coach and generally have very little success in life.

So, the moral of their story is.... You would be crazy to challenge yourself at one of the Top Lacrosse Programs and in many cases one of the Best Universities in the country... There is no way you will have success in life if you choose this route.

BTW... most of their daughters did not receive offers from any of the following...

Current Top 20

1 Boston College
2 North Carolina
3 Maryland
4 Stony Brook
5 Northwestern
6 Florida
7 Syracuse
8 Princeton
9 James Madison
10 Penn State
11 Virginia
12 Penn
13 Colorado
14 Johns Hopkins
15 Duke
16 Denver
17 Loyola
18 USC
19 Georgetown
20 Notre Dame
20 Navy

Throw in :

Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Columbia, Brown, Vanderbilt , Cornell, Dartmouth, Army West Point, Michigan, Bucknell, Colgate, Villanova, Davidson, Binghamton , Holy Cross, William & Mary, Cal Berkley etc.... (sorry if I missed your school)

I suggest you turn away from any of the above schools because there is no way your daughter will be successful if she chooses one of the above...

There is a "Fit" for everyone. Find the best first for your daughter and stop trying to make your daughters decision superior to all others by tearing other people down.

Some of you really need to get a grip.

Just about all of the young women that I know who have graduated from schools such as Georgetown, Duke, Penn, Virginia, Northwestern, Penn State, Boston College etc... are doing very well.

Find the best fit for your daughter and stop trying to belittle the student athletes that are offered an opportunity to compete at the highest level and attend a great school. When I look at the list of the Top 20 Women's Lacrosse Programs it is hard to believe that the Top Players can't find a "great fit". Several excellent state schools, a couple of Ivy's, Southern, Northeast, Midwest, West Coast, Mid Atlantic etc which are all excellent schools. The top players can select the best fit and if they don't want to play at a top tier program I sure the coaches at the lower tiers will be more than willing to take them and make the finances work. Why do some of you want to knock the best players and the choices they make? Jealousy?

Below is a cut from an article in USNews titled "How Much Is an Ivy League Liberal Arts Degree Worth?" dated September 10, 2018.

"Sometimes what we see of philosophy majors coming out of these strong programs (Ivy), is that they're going into being top-tier banking analysts on Wall Street, or they're becoming intelligence analysts for the government. They're going into these upper-level positions where they can utilize those communication and critical thinking skills," Bardaro says."

There is a good fit for everyone. You sound foolish, bitter and jealous when you try to knock others.

OK....What's the point in giving a Verbal Commitment from School and Player if can be revoked until signing day? What happens if a coach leaves that you've built up a relationship with? What happens if money is withdrawn or offered more from another school? Etc, etc... We are still rushing our girls to make decisions and pressure is on come Sept 1st for Jr year... yet nothing is still set in stone until signing day... Please explain.... players rights, coaches rights......contingencies

Still better than when they were verabaling in 8th grade!!!!!!!

Nothing is ever "set in stone". Players can change their mind at any time. They can decommit before they sign a "National Letter of Intent" (only scholarship athletes sign NLI's). They can decommit after signing but the coach must agree to release the player or the player will have to sit out of competition for one year. Most coaches will release the player because if they do not the coach can not use the scholarship $$ for another player. Coaches might choose not to release a player in certain situations, an example might be the player is going to a rival school (especially an in-conference school). The player can choose to transfer even after they are enrolled at a school (the same rules apply with regard to NLI as they are signed each year).

Coaches can withdraw their offer before the NLI is signed (it is rare but is does happen). Coaches can elect not to renew a schlorship but that is also rare but it can happen.

As in life, there is no perfect time. Things change, coaches leave, offers are withdrawn etc... Go through the process, do your due diligence, identify target schools (schools that your daughter believes would be a good fit) so that if offers are extended you can make a good decision. Be proactive, not reactive.

good luck, enjoy the ride

First off why not commit to a school that your child really wants to attend, coaches never decommit from a player unless that player has not held up their end of the agreement, grades, stay out of trouble etc..Yes programs do change coaches but the same thing can happen when you are at the school. As far as coaches not renewing a scholarship most NLI are good for 4 years and the only way to lose it is again by not keeping u with your end ,grades and staying out of trouble.

Tryouts are next week!! My daughter enjoys playing, but I know that she isn't as good as other girls in her grade at school. Any pointers from other parents who are in the same boat? I'm worried she will be disappointed about the outcome and don't know how to console or motivate her? #helplessparent

Tell her to play hard and try her best! If HS lacrosse is the biggest disappointment she has in life she’s a winner for sure no matter what happens..

you say "they" like there were many. come on.

Correct but everyone was trying which meant it was s**t show. Its bad for the sport which is already too selfish already

Not every player has the option of choosing the school they really want to attend. Most players settle for a school that they are offered a spot at.

Understatement of the year!
Maybe the top 25 players in the country have this luxury, where they will have the bulk of the top programs chasing them, and even at that, the "one" they really want may not be interested. And again you are correct about players/parents settling on a school that offers a spot. I feel parents are heck bent that kids are going to play in college, they spent all that time and all that money for all those years, to the point many are blind or too proud to step back and look at the reality of the situation.

Honestly you all sound crazy. A kid commits to a school early and you all go crazy that its a bad decision. Again how does or did it hurt any of these early commits. They commit to a school that they really want to attend ,when its time to sign a NLI they either sign or they dont. "Top 25 ..have this luxury" to commit to a school they really want to attend, so all the other commits are going to schools they dont want to attend, thats just foolish. Again if you wait to commit to a school what makes you think you will have more options. Its sort of like the hold back discussions, is it an advantage , absolutely , will people try to knock your decision to do it , absolutely. Honestly wish I would have held mine back but at the time I would have been too proud or worried about people thinking my kid was "behind" in some way.

For the Ivy League Schools in which there is no money given for sports but financial based only, how do you find out and when do you find out what that aid is/will be? How can you make a decision when you don't know what all the pieces may be? So if there are Div 1 and Ivy's interested money does play a factor. How do you negotiate this?

there is no negotiating, if you want need based aid you must fill out a ton of forms with your entire financial life story and they will tell you the number, most have tuition calculators on their website that will give you an idea of the need based money you might get, also might be some other grant money, but wouldn't count on that being a big number

The Ivies are ideal for the very rich and for the very poor, not so ideal for everyone in between, which is where most of us would fall. Been down this road several times and would say some of the early commits seemed like the right choice for many of those who did decide early. But... also saw “the race” every year, that some kids and parents were in to try to commit before everyone else, like it actually had some kind of bearing where their kid stood in the pecking order of player status. I have literally seen kids go visit the first college that showed interest , get an offer and verbally accept. And not the “dream school” that was the plan from years prior, merely trying to be one of the early ones to commit. Here is how I have seen it play out several times... a few schools reach out and make offers, then a few more, and both your eyes and your kids eyes will be opened, every so often by visisting as many schools as possible. I’ve gone from my kid can’t imaging going to any other school after visiting and meeting with coaches with an offer, only to watch them drop that school to second, third on the list after meeting with the next set of coaches at the next school, and then the next. The best advice anyone will ever give you is to go do your due diligence and visit as many schools as possible and meet with as many coaches as possible, it is not a race. When the coach has you targeted they will allow you the time for this process. Luckily with the new common start date for communication, hopefully you will see the race to be the first to commit, out the window (although it is entertaining to watch). What will be interesting is that in the past some programs were notorious for reaching out early, others were firm not to do this and the offers, or would be offers would stretch out over a year or two, but many of the early bidders wanted an answer long before other programs would even consider putting an offer in on such young kids. I don’t think any player ever got the full realm of possibilities layed out for them just because many schools philosophy of recruiting timelines were so different. Now these kids (the very top ones anyway) will basically be able to entertain a mountain of offers all coming in at the same time on opening bell. Good luck and be patient.

Thats a great question... Ive sent a few kids thru college ( not Ivy) and received zero financial aid.. If you own a home on LI and make high 5 figure salary or higher .. dont expect any money from any college or FASFA.
You'd be better off getting divorced and have the one parent with the lower income have custody and have the financials based on this..