BOTC - US Lacrosse Community Forum Forums NORTHEAST LACROSSE BOTC MAIN FORUM (LI, CT, WC) BOYS PAL League

I commend you, for I feel i might be going through the same situation. My son likes the game. Last year was his first year of travel lacrosse and I will admit he was probably ranked the lowest on the team. After a summer of practicing, clinics he has improved. Fast forward to the fall my local PAL team was going to have indoor fall practice. He played once and had an off the field accident that required wearing a cast on his hand so fall lacrosse ended. During that time we tried to stay in touch but later found out the team played in a fall winter league. Never did we receive a call to see if my son would be interested in playing. Nothing. Fast forward to the winter and a good friend of mine organized a skills practice indoors. Due to limited space only 18 kids could participate. If i wasn't friends with the person organizing this we would've been left out. The reason why i know this is there were players showing up for spring practice not having picked up the stick since the fall. I understand the coach will play his son some more minutes. I get it. I just don't understand the haves and have not aspect. I show up to practice with my son and there seems to be a click of kids and parents who are on the "inside" that know each other very well. I get the friends aspect i do. After a few games under his belt he still learning. The better players on the team are divided from the rest of the team during practice working on clears and rides while the bench players and subs are doing line drills on the other side of the field. Its laughable how obvious it is. Having played college lacrosse myself I kinda see the writing on the wall. Speaking to another father the other day and we wished there was an "A" and a "B" team. I have no ego wear i would want my son to be on the "A" team. I think he would thrive if given some confidence on the field but his chances are limited due to the fact of some players playing in more situations. At the PAL level its supposed to be a learning tool. We are looking into the Travel lacrosse circuit to see how that goes.

^^That is clearly NOT what is supposed to happen in PAL.

BUT, big BUT, if the kids need to learn to catch and throw, then line drills it is. If you want out of the line drills for your son, go get him to the wall. It works wonders and the kids can catch up real fast. But you have to do something. It's on you.

Well, thats what i thought. My wife thinks I'm crazy. She feels I am seeing things yet she gets annoyed when we have kids from the other team playing on our team because we need players (our PAL program has two teams) and those kids are playing more minutes than my son yet its his team not a fill in player. Maybe I just have to suck it up??? I guess we have to cultivate the future RABILS in the third grade?

I have been in travel sports my whole life and have been on the both sides. I have heard worse situations within our organization as the kids get older. I kinda get it but how is the game supposed to grow the game when you have the mindset like i mentioned above? I am just trying to figure out how to deal with this without causing an issue, without drawing unwanted attention to my son and without me looking like a complete [lacrosse]. This is why I think travel Lacrosse clubs not PAL is in our future.

Well, you are correct, the wall is wonderful tool. Personally I still enjoy doing wall work. If this was last year than I would say you are correct. Line drills is whats needed. That is why this past summer he was at clinics he worked on the rebounder in the backyard and played what he could during the fall. His stick skills have improved tremendously for a player his age. Are there better kids with stick skills? Most definitely. There are kids on this team that are very good. They have a high game IQ. I am impressed with them. My son does not possess that because he isn't learning that aspect. I know its more than just coaching. Its also experience. What I mentioned above about one group of kids on side of the field is just one example. I don't see our coach as an overly competitive guy but a person who enjoys winning and seems influenced by his surroundings.(Parents) I would say my son went from being the bottom to the middle of the pack. its a fine line of being disappointed and being that father that complains. I am just venting. I know at 8 years old its tough to figure out what he is going to excel at in 5 to 10 years. I just think like the post I originally commented on that sometimes its not fair. Sometimes it does suck. My son doesn't yet understand what i am seeing yet some kids do point out that they are better than him. So once again where does that come from? Once again i am not trying to be the father that lives through his kid yet in a way thats what we are doing. We are all trying to steer our child in a way that they don't fall victim to some of the stuff we endured.

I don't meant this to be snarky, but have you talked to the coach or volunteered to help coach? you played in college and know the game. last I checked, nobody is turning away good help.
being involved in the program will allow you to have more input as opposed to needing to vent.
maybe your coach is overloaded and just relies on the kids that know what to do because it is easier for him??
or maybe he doesnt realize this is happening??

The most important thing to keep in mind, do whats best for your son and family. DO NOT DEPEND or ALLOW other parents to select, determine what is best for your child. When doing the travel lacrosse circuit, your son's lacrosse world will open up so to speak; allow him to make new friends, get him outside his comfort zone, do more listening than TALKING, you will find out which coach and where he's holding that small limited size clinic, there are many of them out there.
Another suggestion, grab 2-3 of your sons friends in the same boat to divide up the cost of a personal trainer, along with wall ball and practicing catching and throwing you will see a major difference in a short time. My point is, you lead your son! Don't allow anyone else (group of parents) who doesn't have your son's best interest FIRST dedicate your child's progress...

You are not being snarky at all. I want to coach. I really do. My son was very disappointed when I told him that with my job I wouldn't be able to coach. I do help out when my work schedule allows but its not nearly consistent enough nor am as l looked upon as anything more than a father who happens to have a lacrosse stick from the 90's. I was all set to go about it but my work situation is not helpful.

I think part of it is the coach might be overwhelmed. We do have some aggressive parents who within there right are looking after there sons. I am sure there are emails and texts and calls amongst them. Like I said we are on the bubble of the inner circle. I definitely think something is amiss but rather making an [lacrosse] out of myself or putting a target on my sons back I will stay quiet and vent on this forum. lol It shouldn't be this difficult at 8 years old but such is life. When I was playing you played the season and the occasional summer league and maybe box at Mitchell field. Now its serious business.

The most important thing to keep in mind, do whats best for your son and family. DO NOT DEPEND or ALLOW other parents to select, determine what is best for your child. When doing the travel lacrosse circuit, your son's lacrosse world will open up so to speak; allow him to make new friends, get him outside his comfort zone, do more listening than TALKING, you will find out which coach and where he's holding that small limited size clinic, there are many of them out there.
Another suggestion, grab 2-3 of your sons friends in the same boat to divide up the cost of a personal trainer, along with wall ball and practicing catching and throwing you will see a major difference in a short time. My point is, you lead your son! Don't allow anyone else (group of parents) who doesn't have your son's best interest FIRST dedicate your child's progress... [/quote]

Well said! Thank you. I think that's the plan we are going to take!!![

Are the fall and spring practices part of PAL or does the town have a separate travel team? It confused me at first in my town because the team name, coaches, everything else was the same. Luckily we had the right number so that everyone who played PAL was "invited" to travel, but I suppose other towns with larger numbers leave some out of the travel team??? It is a shame, but I do see both sides--and I'm conflicted.

This year on our PAL team there are kids who have been playing together for the 4th straight year and others who are picking up a stick for the very first time. I see with my own eyes it's difficult for coaches to cater to both groups. They get in on play sets and can't catch, so the practice grinds to a halt. It looks so futile. I'm not criticizing... Just think it might be better for newbies to do more skill work at practices. Our town PAL does have separate beginner clinics in the winter and summer for older beginners (throwing, catching, scooping, cradling) though. I just hope the newbies don't get discouraged seeing the "vets" whip the ball around rather get motivated and use those clinics to get themselves caught up.

My son started only one year late (1st grade, not kindergarten!) and I could not believe how much I felt I had to catch him up even at that early age. I never played lax, rather baseball and football, so it was plenty of youtube, and buying MY first lax stick at 40+ years old to catch him up. I've also googled rules, etc. to answer his questions. Where baseball and football are on the tv at home all the time, lax isn't really (although I recommend espn3--they have replays) I never imparted and lax knowledge on my son until it was crunch time. I also got him in clinics and other events not associated with our town program. Lizards games, etc. I will so long as he's enthusiastic about it.

I hope your son doesn't get discouraged. From what I've seen kids do get caught up eventually.

My son started "super late" relative to his town peers, i.e., second grade. He was way behind those first two years. He's definitely catching up with them and with his speed and work ethic he'll be right there with them in a couple years.

I think the fall practices, the fall/winter league and the winter skills practice sessions were outside the PAL program. When he first started he was with many of these kids. The local PAL had a development program in the fall when he was in kindergarten/first grade. All of the kids were in the same boat. Missed catches, blown passes and just running around aimlessly. Fast forward to last spring and the kids with the exception of my son were throwing, passing and playing as if they were playing for years. I think I missed something that winter. It was the first game last spring I realized these kids played all winter. They improved that much. So I knew that summer would be important. I asked him if he wanted to commit more time and he hit the ground running. He participated last summer at the HUB in there clinics and participated in clinics run by the NY Lizards. I saw immediate improvement. Fast forward to the fall he shows up to practice and one of the coaches noticed he improved. Than he had an off the field accident where he injured his hand. He missed the remainder of the fall practices. We were in the dark on a few things the team did including a Friday night fall league. The one thing I noticed is that all of the improvement he made he is still a year behind. We now have a season subscription to the LIzards. We go to at least 3 or 4 games so why not. My son really enjoys the game. he loves being part of a team. He is the first to congratulate the kid who scores or the goalie makes a save. He loves watching and seeing the camaraderie associated with team sports.

Trust me, I am conflicted as well.

I'm sure he'll catch up. There are a lot of clinics throughout the year. Some even free. I've singed up to every club, site, etc mailing list.

I'm sure he'll catch up. There are a lot of clinics throughout the year. Some even free. I've singed up to every club, site, etc mailing list.[/quote]


I have a feeling he will as well. Its just tough to watch. As a person who is trying to do the right thing for my son its not easy. The advise everyone has given has been very valuable. I just don't want to burn him out and I don't want him to get burned.

If your son is enjoying playing, is the most important part. Don't let the loadmouths or politics tarnish that enjoyment. The joy of playing a sport only lasts so long. If he puts in the time I'm sure the results will come out on the field probably with a different team. As he gets older, bigger and smarter Daddy ball and Moms's bingo will no longer be an issue. But make sure he is having fun.

Despite what anybody says or the accepted sentiment that persists in the lax community, if ur kid is an athlete and is willing to put in the time practicing they can not only catch up but can be a standout player regardless of when they pick up the game. All kids mature at different rates and many at an early age have already peaked or have lost interest in the game due to pressure put on them to excel by their parents.

Contrary to what may be thought here, peaking in elementary school is not a good thing. Seen allot of grade school superstars dissapear by high school.

my son didn't pick up a lacrosse stick till 4th grade and it was obvious how bad he was his first year and half of playing . things started to click halfway through second year and currently is in top couple scorers on his jv team as a freshman and most likely will be called up to varsity by end of the year. plus playing travel and doing well there . relax take your time and hopefully your son / daughter will have a great youth coach that sees the potential and brings it out . funny enough many of his teammates that were superstars back a few yrs ago no longer play the game

...and an equal amount continue to thrive and get better in their HS years. It certainly goes both ways

PAL shoukd be for any kid who wants to play, regardless of skill level. New kids should play just as much as the kid who has been playing fir years. Simoke as that.

That is what it's about...don't listen to the crazy daddy's on botc

So,so true!

Thank you everyone! Certainly has set my mind at ease.

standings and scores? kids want to know. anywhere to view?

Nope. They are posted on the Horizon site for the coaches and refs.

Playing time should be "equitable", NOT "equal".

post the records and scores just like CYO

why? what comes from posting records?
there are no standings, no playoffs. what do you need records for?

PAL is for sh*ts and giggles. let the boys have fun playing with their buddies and classmates.

Why bother having refs and keeping score either? it's not like the kids spend months and countless hours practicing with their team, I mean buddies and classmates for real competition...

Whatever happened to that list that showed what teams were in what division?

i agree, post the standings, scores

why? and I'm asking honestly.... I'm not a participation trophy guy.

if there was some kind of post season playoff format, absolutely. but PAL isn't that. it's a developmental league where you play 7 or 8 games in the spring and you're done.

for all that say CYO posts scores and records....thats right, they do. but they also have playoffs.

maybe instead of wanting standings, we should be trying to get PAL to install some kind of playoff for divisions. then they would be forced to keep standings

There are no "standings" to post . . .!

Playing time should be equitable, NOT equal.

I am from GC and my son played against 4th grade West Islip this past weekend and I was horrified at the West Islip coach the way he was screaming at the referees and the kids . This guy is supposed to be a role model and now I see that he is a coach at Molloy college maybe he should just stick the college kids .

Former long time coach at Hills West. Some of these guys forget the age of the kids.

Have you met the idiot from Farmingdale? My son plays on the 4th grade team and the coach curses, Sits kids, Tells them they suck, Doesn't take his kids off the field EVER. Split our kids into 2 teams so everyone would have playing time (that is what they told us ). Turns out his kid just plays double the amount of games. Complete Sh*t Show! Unfortunately there are a few of these types out there.

Sounds like the same debacle of a PAL program our town has.

It's crazy, Been like this for 3 seasons now. Parents yelling, Coach could care less. We view it as a 2 month play date with his friends.

C'mon Tom we know you live in WI