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Coach situation: Player A not getting much playing time, needs to work on a few things. Pays HS coach for private lessons - gets better / maybe doesn't get better - gets more playing time. Player B sees Player A pay for lessons and play more, now Player B pays for lessons, etc. Did the kids really get better or is the coach just making it appear that way to attract more business? He/she controls cause and effect.

Tutor situation: Student A struggling in class, needs some help. Pays HS teacher for private tutoring, grades improve (either legitimately in an objective subject or with help in a subjective one). Student B sees Student A's grades improve and now pays teacher for tutoring, etc. Did the students just need some one-on-one time or is the teacher holding back in class to attract more business? Again, teacher has all the control.

Whether either case is above board or not, there is clearly an opportunity for abuse and the perception of favoritism exists.

Coach situation: Player A not getting much playing time, needs to work on a few things. Pays HS coach for private lessons - gets better / maybe doesn't get better - gets more playing time. Player B sees Player A pay for lessons and play more, now Player B pays for lessons, etc. Did the kids really get better or is the coach just making it appear that way to attract more business? He/she controls cause and effect.

Tutor situation: Student A struggling in class, needs some help. Pays HS teacher for private tutoring, grades improve (either legitimately in an objective subject or with help in a subjective one). Student B sees Student A's grades improve and now pays teacher for tutoring, etc. Did the students just need some one-on-one time or is the teacher holding back in class to attract more business? Again, teacher has all the control.

Whether either case is above board or not, there is clearly an opportunity for abuse and the perception of favoritism exists.

When it comes to a tutor you go with recommendations and qualifications. You go to those who your neighbors or friends have used before. Those who have helped dare I say on Standard tests before so you know what you are getting. You go to a proven teacher.

If that tutor just happens to be my childs teacher even better. If my kid gets more attention, I am good with that - like a bonus, are you that dense you wouldn't.

You are either a moron or you have no moral compass. If you can not see that there is a clear conflict of interest when a coach or a teacher attempts to coerce a student to use "pay for" their service. Perception is reality and in our district many of the players and parents feel that they must pay to play. I wonder where they got that idea? It is not about building a team or about the kids. It is about the money.

It has been said on this site before. Depending on which side you look at it from if is either bribery or extortion. In any event it is wrong and it should not be permitted. I guess if you are in a business where it is perfectly acceptable to bribe or extort you would see nothing wrong with it.

On a recommendation from a friend, I reached out to the Sayville varsity coach to train my daughter. Met with him and he told me he simply didn't have the time to work with her. He spent the next two hours teaching me how to work with her. On an 85 degree June day in the midday sun. Two hours and then he wouldn't take a dime from me. Just wished us luck and to reach out to him if I had any questions.

I see him at tournaments, he checks in to see how she's doing. We don't live in Sayville. My daughter will never play for him. She may well one day play against him. Thats not somebody who's in it for the money. That's somebody who's a good person, loves kids and loves lacrosse. He's a class act.

That's a very touching, but completely irrelevant story. I don't think the town was ever stated, so I don't want to make assumptions that it was Sayville. The fact that he takes money from parents in the town, when he told others that he won't train girls from the town, and then moved them up to varsity way earlier than has ever been done before is the issue. And it leaves a bad taste in a lot of mouths. Many will be out to pull his ticket.

seems as though the girls did well with the extra coaching to me and deserved to move up. Who cares if it was unprecedented. What is irrelevant is the fact that he was paid to coach up players on his personal time. YOU and others are making it relevant because it better serves your agenda. Coaches are entitled to do whatever they want on their fee time. They can't win. I am sick of people trying to disgrace great coaches to serve some personal agenda. I am sure that if it were your child that got bumped up to varsity your would be singing a different tune. You should think before posting anonymous posts. Good people get hurt by slanderous accusations such as these. If you want to try to disgrace someone don't be a coward and sign your name. I bet we would find that your child's playing time or position is somehow threatened in some way.

yaaaaaaawwwwnnnn.....

Totally agree!!! There is no difference. The conflicts for a math teacher and a student are exactly the same for a coach and a player. If it's been addressed for the math teacher it should be addressed for the coach.

seems as though the girls did well with the extra coaching to me and deserved to move up. Who cares if it was unprecedented. What is irrelevant is the fact that he was paid to coach up players on his personal time. YOU and others are making it relevant because it better serves your agenda. Coaches are entitled to do whatever they want on their fee time. They can't win. I am sick of people trying to disgrace great coaches to serve some personal agenda. I am sure that if it were your child that got bumped up to varsity your would be singing a different tune. You should think before posting anonymous posts. Good people get hurt by slanderous accusations such as these. If you want to try to disgrace someone don't be a coward and sign your name. I bet we would find that your child's playing time or position is somehow threatened in some way.

I don't know if the conflicts are the same, but if you train a kid in a sport and he/she makes a team, it is looked upon as immoral because that usually means that a possibly deserving kid is getting dropped. If a teacher tutors a kid and he/she gets better grades, it doesn't effect the other kids in the class. Another kid isn't getting bumped from the Varsity Math class to JV.

The conflict is worse. When your kid is wait listed to the school she wants to go to and the kid who got tutored by the teacher got in because she got a better grade in her math class the question will get asked.

If that happens, the only one to blame is yourself. If your kid didn't get a good enough grade, that's your fault. Maybe you should have gotten your own tutor. It isn't the fault of another parent who sought out help for their child. These are 2 totally different situations. A student does not get dropped from a class because another student is doing better or has a relationship with a teacher. Your opportunity is not denied. But it can happen in the world of lacrosse where there are limited spots and opportunities.

What is it that you do not understand?

If a teacher or a coach is running a for profit business and they coerce the kids (parents) that they teach or coach into paying for their service it is wrong.

maybe you need to expand your media reading beyond this website if you want to know more about something like a potential problem with a charity

What is it that you do not understand?

If a teacher or a coach is running a for profit business and they coerce the kids (parents) that they teach or coach into paying for their service it is wrong.

So what if you have two players who play for the same HS. Player 1 plays for a club outside of town, developes into a great player and gets recruited to play divI. Player 2 stays with the HS coach and plays for their in town club, developes into a good player but doesn't get recruited. Now the HS season rolls around and player 2 is playing over player 1. If both players had the same opportunities to get recruited, it's natural to conclude player 2 is playing because they stuck with/ paid the HS coach through the club. That scenario happens every year and is a conflict anyway you cut it.

I don't know if the conflicts are the same, but if you train a kid in a sport and he/she makes a team, it is looked upon as immoral because that usually means that a possibly deserving kid is getting dropped. If a teacher tutors a kid and he/she gets better grades, it doesn't effect the other kids in the class. Another kid isn't getting bumped from the Varsity Math class to JV.

I believe in a few things... Just because you think something to be so, doesn't mean it is. and if it looks, smells, and taste like something it generally is... but a rose with any other name will still smell as sweet. finding the balance between that is a the secret.

I was one of the biggest "Bloggers" about not everyone is inherently evil and you cant just ban something because you think impropriety can take place. You cant say something bad was done just because the opportunity existed. Go back to the Brady Bunch or icarly... dont judge a book by its cover and don't jump to a conclusions!!

I wished my town coaches offered more or did training. I wished my children's' teachers did tutor (the ones I liked). I would have paid top dollar for that, making sure they progressed over the entire grade not just their class... keeping a sharp eye out for any funny business.

I never said the other side, you know when you feel you got slighted. I did say as a parent you need to step up and do what is best for your son/daughter. I also believe (especially when it comes to our children's abilities) we look at things through rose colored glasses, many times we need to step back and take an honest look.

If the players are close in ability, then the club helped get your child noticed by colleges (good on you), but that does not make him/her any better than the other child. If close in ability, that other child will have the upper hand seeing the field in HS, the townHS coach knows the other player more. I have no problem with that. You choose Club which helped you for college, they choose the HS which is leading to more field time.

Now if the players are not close in ability it will been seen by all not just some. You will not have to say a thing but listen to the crowd when the player is in over your child. We have all seen players that we think are better than another get less time. Why, will anyone ever know. Maybe the coach just likes them better... maybe it is attitude maybe it is those intangibles you cant measure... or maybe the parent works in the school district and/or helped the youth program.

No one can tell you when to step up. If you have a good coach he will listen to a rational conversation not an emotional one. if you have a good team and captains you wont have to step up. If you don't have either that just sucks! Me, I say time will tell, give it at least a game or two to prove out. Preseason is not the time for that, it is how you finish!!


sorry you feel this way already especially since season hasn't even started yet.

You miss the point completely.

Coaches running a for profit business and coercing players (parents) to pay to play for them is wrong.

its easier to place blame on someone than take ownership. Your mad that you didn't approach the coach or get your child extra training. So it's everybody else's fault. Get off your [lacrosse] and be proactive. Help you child become better. Don't attack the coach and parents that took the appropriate steps to improve their child's skills. That's on you buddy. It's blatantly obvious that your jealous. No other reason to attack someone's character. What's worse is your teaching your child that instead of working harder for something they want, it's easier to stomp your feet and scream bias. Grow up, put your big boy pants on and show your child that hard work pays off.

They can't do that. Thats why their kid is second best, it's because the parent is second best. The parent doesn't put forth extra effort so the kid doesn't know to do it either. And the circle of fail continues ...

You really are an idiot. Clearly, you're the parent that is buying playing time. Congrats.

If I did, which I haven't , I can assure you my check book wouldn't notice. My family isn't part of the circle of fail. We leave that all to you. Enjoy!

Besides the club teams, is there any place on this site that lists people available for one on one instruction? Is it crazy to get training for a kid in 5th grade?

Is it me or do refs never call slashing any more? Defenders are always hitting hips, thighs and legs without a flag constantly!

It's the same with pushing. Unless the kid falls down its not a push.

Same with cross checks. Whatever happened to keeping your hands together when checking?

Refs are getting very sloppy and kids are getting hurt. Clean it up Refs.

Do your job. Be consistent. Protect the kids.Get a grip mom! Did your son come home with a bruise? I'm sure if your son knew you were on here crying he would be mortified! And if he's not... Might be time to check when baseball sign-ups are



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Is it me or do refs never call slashing any more? Defenders are always hitting hips, thighs and legs without a flag constantly!

It's the same with pushing. Unless the kid falls down its not a push.

Same with cross checks. Whatever happened to keeping your hands together when checking?

Refs are getting very sloppy and kids are getting hurt. Clean it up Refs.

Do your job. Be consistent. Protect the kids.

I disagree. IMHO the game is softer and less violent them ever.



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