BOTC - US Lacrosse Community Forum Forums NORTHEAST LACROSSE BOTC MAIN FORUM (LI, CT, WC) 2020 girl commits to Syracuse

This is really just an exaggeration and ridiculous. Yes, there are issues with early recruiting and the IWCLA is working to resolve them hopefully via the NCAA. However, to say 4th and 5th grade girls are gearing up to get recruited and don;t pass as a result? Do you have 4th and 5th graders? Are they really focused on getting recruited right now? Mine aren't. Thye love to play but care more about their friends and watching Child Genious rather than college recruiting. Now by 8th grade, I agree it becomes more of a focus/issue for the girls, but not 4th and 5th grade.

I have an elementary and middle school player. While I agree with the view that they aren't concerned about being recruited at that age, they have always had teammates who, at the encouragement of mom/ dad detest the idea of sharing the ball. The irony of the whole thing is that while they may get the accolades for goals they aren't necessarily the most popular teammate. Kids at this age want to be part of the game, not standing by while one or two girls who aren't always the most talented hold the ball. This is a result of misguided parents with scholarship $$$ in their eyes rather than the recruiting process itself

Wait until you are playing with kids who have older sisters that have already gone through the process. Kids used to play club in 9th grade, then it went to 6th, now there are teams for 1st and 2nd graders. The club parents are pushing their younger children earlier so yes PAL and 6th lacrosse has changed from a team sport to an individual sport for some with an eye on giving that "verbal". If you cant see the changes its probably because this is your first daughter. The changes are bad for the 95% of kids that just want to play!

My daughter is committed to a top 15 lacrosse program and top 5 academic school. She committed in early October of her sophomore year and had several offers from top 20 lacrosse programs/top academic schools. She is very fortunate and she understands this. We have very mixed feelings about early recruiting but it is hard to turn down her dream school and we would not have let her commit at this age to many schools. However, this was a unique opportunity with a scholarship as well. She was not the top goal scorer and does pass a lot, contrary to the notion on this thread that you get rewarded for not passing and being a ball hog. My observation of the top girls being recruited is that the biggest common denominator is top level athleticism and speed. This could come through on draw controls, ground balls, redefending, defense, and general grit and hustle. It doesn't have to be goals.

Typical Stanford jerk. Always using any opportunity to let everyone know that they/their kid went/goes/going to Stanford. Funny thing about it is that they will likely be bottom quartile student there, and might do much better academically somewhere that isn't Stanford.

Gee let me tell them that it's a top 15 lax school. Now lets cross-reference it with top 5 academic school. Oh gosh they might think I'm talking about Princeton. Let me make sure to tell them she's getting a scholarship so they know it's not an Ivy. There, that should do it.

At the end of the day it is all about coaches and league rules, especially at the early ages. Whatever happen to the 3 pass rule before a team could shoot. That forced kids to pass. It made them all of them better. And it wasn't three passes to two good players, three passes to different kids. Maybe this should be a US lacrosse rule in youth. It would be nice if they actually did something with there title, "As governing body"

This is what I grew up with and it amazing how good the team was when you start this young forcing the pass.

Get back to basics for majority. You will always have a few kids that are clearly better than others. This is life, and will get picked first,by schools. Also true for academics.

Typical jealous jerk.

Nope, nice try. Not the least bit jealous. Just so sick of people like you. You write a post ostensibly about your "mixed feelings" about early recruiting, but all it really is is a post you have written to brag about your daughter. Right down to how unbelievably unselfish and athletic she is. You indeed are a jerk.

My kid rejected Stanford so she wouldn't have to deal with the likes of you and your daughter.

To be honest, you are responding to someone else who wrote "typical jealous jerk". I wrote the original post, was not trying to chest-pound at all, do indeed have mixed feelings about early recruiting, and was just trying to add perspective from my experience of what coaches look for (not always ball hogs, goal scorers which was the original post). Was actually just trying to provide some experiences to the tread which is what I thought this forum was about, rather than really, really angry posts like yours. Done here. You should direct your anger somewhere else.

Nope, nice try. Not the least bit jealous. Just so sick of people like you. You write a post ostensibly about your "mixed feelings" about early recruiting, but all it really is is a post you have written to brag about your daughter. Right down to how unbelievably unselfish and athletic she is. You indeed are a jerk.

My kid rejected Stanford so she wouldn't have to deal with the likes of you and your daughter.

Wow, how resentful, jealous and bitter can you be? Very sad to hear that you have passed on your small minded hateful mentality to your daughter. What other schools did you convince your daughter to reject? What school did your daughter decide to attend? It must be difficult getting through the day with such a closed mind. Good luck to your daughter. I hope she is able to broaden her views and develop an open mind. Maybe she will someday reject your limiting angry narrow mindset.

By the way, I have never been to Stanford, I do not know any current Stanford Students, I do not know any Stanford Graduates and none of my children are going to attend Stanford. I wish the girl and her proud family well.

Go Cardinal!

Typical Stanford jerk. Always using any opportunity to let everyone know that they/their kid went/goes/going to Stanford. Funny thing about it is that they will likely be bottom quartile student there, and might do much better academically somewhere that isn't Stanford.

Gee let me tell them that it's a top 15 lax school. Now lets cross-reference it with top 5 academic school. Oh gosh they might think I'm talking about Princeton. Let me make sure to tell them she's getting a scholarship so they know it's not an Ivy. There, that should do it.

Speaking for the 95% of girls who don't play in college congratulations to all that do! Hopefully the recruiting system is actually going to be fixed this time (but I really don't think the coaches and the club teams want it changed) so the rest of the girls can go back to enjoying this fun game with their teammates. Early recruiting has sucked the air out of the game and the parent sidelines way too early. For those on the route to play in college, every decision from PAL on is very calculated and selfish and those decisions bleed into the teams.

The Jealousy, bitterness and hate displayed by so many on this site, on the sidelines and in certain communities never ceases to amaze me. What does amaze me is that there are people out there who teach their children to embrace mediocracy.

- No Jane, don't go to UNC to play lacrosse they're too good down there. Lets look at schools that have average players so you can be the best. No Jane, don't go to Princeton the kids are too smart there. Lets select a school that has average students so you can be the smartest.

I hope your child/children can overcome your small minded negative influence.

AMEN for those who just love the game but know they aren't going to play in college the sport is TOXIC for the reasons you list above. My daughters are multi sport athletes and girls lax is by far the WORST!

And so that guy obviously nailed it. This was, as usual, a blatant attempt by a parent living through their child to tell everyone that she is going to Stanford. It's funny. Great piece of duduction. And now the self-rightous indignation that follows. It is u, Cardinal parent, that is the one to be loathed. And no it isn't jealousy or bitterness. I find you hysterical, thanks for the laugh. For all you know, my kid is committed right along side yours, but I don't have to broadcast it to the world. Lets hope your kid has the humility that you do not possess. Or at least is a bit more secure?

Didn't read it that way at all. I think the person was trying to point out that it's not all about scoring goals. This is an anonymous forum, if the person wanted to boast about whatever school their child is going to why not just say it. No, I think think they were pointing out that players can get recruited by top programs/schools without being a ball hog.

The best player on my daughters club/HS team had offers from just about every Top 10 Team. Even the most bitter of parents do not call her a ball hog. The Top College coaches like her because of her athleticism, speed, grit and hustle. She can play any position on the field and she moves better than the other girls. Thats it.

Congrats to the girl and her parents if she is going to Stanford.

The thing that is laughable is this mind set: "Funny thing about it is that they will likely be bottom quartile student there, and might do much better academically somewhere that isn't Stanford. - Really? Is that how you look at life? Do you really think that doing well against lesser competition is "doing better"?
The fact that you admit to loathing is very telling. Highly doubt that your daughter will be going to stanford. I hope that you have not passed on your bitterness and hate to your children.

I don't think that the original poster was broadcasting to the world where their daughter was going to school. I think they were trying to explain college coaches look beyond the ball hog.

Worst sidelines in sports thanks to terrible parents and clubs who have hijacked the game

Nice try. Not the original poster either. But that dude called you out and was right on. Stanford parents are the epitome of that toxic sideline. And you are right there lecturing away w them. You know best ... of course.

Yet another negative, bitter, small minded, resentful [lacrosse].

Couldn't disagree more. And no, none of my kid will be going to stanford (they were not recruited by stanford).

Below was posted on another thread. Applies to this group as well.

The problem is that many parents refuse to honestly evaluate their children. Many become bitter and jealous and spew venom and hate at other children. They do it on this site, they do it on the sideline and they do it around town. When another child is having more success than their child they look to tear that child down anyway they can. Its ugly.

If the kid scores a lot of goals the jealous parents will call the player a "Ball Hog".

If the kid makes an "All Star / Elite / Top Club" team the bitter parents will say its only because his/her Dad knows the coaches.

If the kid commits to a Top 5 or 10 college the jealous parent will say the player will never get on the field.

If the kid commits to Harvard the bitter jealous parent will say my son/daughter doesn't want to go to an Ivy League School (or Stanford).

If the kid commits to a Big D-I School the jealous parents will say we are focusing on academics and looking at D-III schools.

If a kid is being actively recruited by a number of top programs the bitter jealous parents will say we are looking at ABC and XYZ and we visited XXX even though their kid is not being recruited by those schools.

It's never ending, on our sideline this past spring it was obvious that parent were rooting against their daughters teamates. We have parents chirping loudly "Pass The Ball" however I never heard those words when the Jealous bitter parents child had the ball. If it were not so sad it would be funny.

Couple all of the hate and venom spewed with all of the [lacrosse] Kissing many of these parents do and you have a cesspool of a sideline. Does not matter if it is school or club, the [lacrosse] kissers are there. They will kiss the [lacrosse] of the coach, Club Director, AD, Assistant Coach, Spouse of the coach, Sibling of the coach, friend of the coach, anyone who they think can help. Have you ever noticed how certain parents always have a reason to talk to or email the coach? Even the ones who are bitter on the sideline, they make sure they put on the happy face just before their nose hits the coaches [lacrosse]. Love it when I see a kid who does not get the hype from the club or school get recruited (by top college programs) over the favored ones. All the [lacrosse] kissing from parents and the misguided efforts of a bad coach will not stop the college coaches from identifying the top athletes.

It's a mess. Hope your club and or town is different.


Being the devils advocate here....let's be honest. There are many girls with great connections who do receive benefits, recognitions, opportunities etc. that others who may be more deserving don't receive. Personal phone calls to college coaches before clinics, personal phone calls to coaches involved in major tryouts. They happen, everyone knows about them and those parents also don't honestly evaluate their daughters ability. Therefore the jealousy and bitterness may be created. Unfortunately, you hit the nail on the head when you said parents refuse to evaluate their kids honestly. Only problem is some don't have to because they know all!

Couldn't disagree more. And no, none of my kid will be going to stanford (they were not recruited by stanford).

Below was posted on another thread. Applies to this group as well.

The problem is that many parents refuse to honestly evaluate their children. Many become bitter and jealous and spew venom and hate at other children. They do it on this site, they do it on the sideline and they do it around town. When another child is having more success than their child they look to tear that child down anyway they can. Its ugly.

If the kid scores a lot of goals the jealous parents will call the player a "Ball Hog".

If the kid makes an "All Star / Elite / Top Club" team the bitter parents will say its only because his/her Dad knows the coaches.

If the kid commits to a Top 5 or 10 college the jealous parent will say the player will never get on the field.

If the kid commits to Harvard the bitter jealous parent will say my son/daughter doesn't want to go to an Ivy League School (or Stanford).

If the kid commits to a Big D-I School the jealous parents will say we are focusing on academics and looking at D-III schools.

If a kid is being actively recruited by a number of top programs the bitter jealous parents will say we are looking at ABC and XYZ and we visited XXX even though their kid is not being recruited by those schools.

It's never ending, on our sideline this past spring it was obvious that parent were rooting against their daughters teamates. We have parents chirping loudly "Pass The Ball" however I never heard those words when the Jealous bitter parents child had the ball. If it were not so sad it would be funny.

Couple all of the hate and venom spewed with all of the [lacrosse] Kissing many of these parents do and you have a cesspool of a sideline. Does not matter if it is school or club, the [lacrosse] kissers are there. They will kiss the [lacrosse] of the coach, Club Director, AD, Assistant Coach, Spouse of the coach, Sibling of the coach, friend of the coach, anyone who they think can help. Have you ever noticed how certain parents always have a reason to talk to or email the coach? Even the ones who are bitter on the sideline, they make sure they put on the happy face just before their nose hits the coaches [lacrosse]. Love it when I see a kid who does not get the hype from the club or school get recruited (by top college programs) over the favored ones. All the [lacrosse] kissing from parents and the misguided efforts of a bad coach will not stop the college coaches from identifying the top athletes.

It's a mess. Hope your club and or town is different".

Couldn't disagree more. And no, none of my kid will be going to stanford (they were not recruited by stanford).

Below was posted on another thread. Applies to this group as well.

The problem is that many parents refuse to honestly evaluate their children. Many become bitter and jealous and spew venom and hate at other children. They do it on this site, they do it on the sideline and they do it around town. When another child is having more success than their child they look to tear that child down anyway they can. Its ugly.

If the kid scores a lot of goals the jealous parents will call the player a "Ball Hog".

If the kid makes an "All Star / Elite / Top Club" team the bitter parents will say its only because his/her Dad knows the coaches.

If the kid commits to a Top 5 or 10 college the jealous parent will say the player will never get on the field.

If the kid commits to Harvard the bitter jealous parent will say my son/daughter doesn't want to go to an Ivy League School (or Stanford).

If the kid commits to a Big D-I School the jealous parents will say we are focusing on academics and looking at D-III schools.

If a kid is being actively recruited by a number of top programs the bitter jealous parents will say we are looking at ABC and XYZ and we visited XXX even though their kid is not being recruited by those schools.

It's never ending, on our sideline this past spring it was obvious that parent were rooting against their daughters teamates. We have parents chirping loudly "Pass The Ball" however I never heard those words when the Jealous bitter parents child had the ball. If it were not so sad it would be funny.

Couple all of the hate and venom spewed with all of the [lacrosse] Kissing many of these parents do and you have a cesspool of a sideline. Does not matter if it is school or club, the [lacrosse] kissers are there. They will kiss the [lacrosse] of the coach, Club Director, AD, Assistant Coach, Spouse of the coach, Sibling of the coach, friend of the coach, anyone who they think can help. Have you ever noticed how certain parents always have a reason to talk to or email the coach? Even the ones who are bitter on the sideline, they make sure they put on the happy face just before their nose hits the coaches [lacrosse]. Love it when I see a kid who does not get the hype from the club or school get recruited (by top college programs) over the favored ones. All the [lacrosse] kissing from parents and the misguided efforts of a bad coach will not stop the college coaches from identifying the top athletes.

It's a mess. Hope your club and or town is different".

I think this person nailed it!! Excellent points !