BOTC - US Lacrosse Community Forum Forums NORTHEAST LACROSSE BOTC MAIN FORUM (LI, CT, WC) Age and Reclassification. The good the bad the ugly!

Can you ask your husband to come back on please

When you say do nothing, what can I possibly do? I’m not Elenor Roosevelt. The only thing I can control are my 3 kids. If all youth lacrosse parents did what was right, like myself, youth lacrosse would be much better.

We get it , you are a wonderful person with high moral principles. I bet you don't even cheat on you income taxes & you go to mass every Sunday. It's people like you that make this country great & it's those cheating holdbacks & their parents that are ruining this country. So glad that you signed up your kids to play lax once again ( glutton for punishment ). It's youth lacrosse - relax.

I wouldn’t say ruining the country. Maybe ruining youth lax. Playing youth kids against other youth kids the same age isn’t high moral principals in my book. I just call it normal parenting.

Don't waste your breath the parents cheat and the kids will cheat..it is what is...

People want transparency. Ok. I am a parent of a hold back that is tall and who most consider an excellent player. Whether he was held back or not his athleticism, stick skills, sports iq, speed and size shine on the field. After reading this thread over the past week or so I have seen how much kids like him playing bother the on age cohort that hold so much moral outrage about his presence on the field. After learning how much kids like mine bother you I plan to take even more satisfaction watching him dominate as a pole when the tournament season resumes. I will not be embarrassed as he uses his size to body smaller attack men. Quite the contrary I will smile from ear to ear knowing it infuriates you that my son simply does his thing against your son. How is that for honesty?

Sounds like you are you are doing the right thing for your child, He obviously isnt the smartest guy in school as he had to be held back and you didnt mention academics. Plus if he has your character,, well he will be struggling and wont go far in life. Letting him play down against younger players will be one of yours and his greatest thrills . Later in life, not so much. But he will have been a great lacrosse player dominating younger players, Well Done ! .

And I’ll be cheering for your son too....to get a career ending injury!

When your son gets older, teach him to golf from the woman’s tees. He will need the 25 yard advantage. Maybe you should have play with dolls too. Weak kids will learn from their weak parents. Yes your big 10 year old can dominate my regular size 9 year old in youth lacrosse. My son will dominate your son in life. How is that for honesty?

He would if he didnt have to keep telling your wife he is married.

From the parent of a boy who just isn't a very good lacrosse player. Oh well, maybe he can play girls sports, just like his dad.

Holdback dad, take the baby binky out of your sons mouth and let him play his age.

Bottom line, your sons a below average player in age. Therefore you make the holdback argument. Same old story. There are way less holdbacks than there are bad players. Yours is bad.

Good player on age, great player a year older than competition. Probably Paul Rabil 2 years older than competition. I’d rather him be good on age. Like I said weak man. Take your sons binky out of his mouth and have him play his age. You just have been picked on as a kid. I understand your scared. He can do it. It’s ok.

You can’t argue with guys like this. They think they have every angle figured out. In the end most of these “daddy projects” fizzle our and these tough talking dads disappear into their bottle of Tito’s. Let them be proud of their cheating holdback for now, after all they invested a lot of money into this dream. So pathetic!

Sure, your little fella is great. Hahahaha, that’s why you’re crying about holdbacks. Sorry but my son isn’t a holdback, I just refuse to allow him to be a victim. Like yours. Paul Rabil, hahahahahaha sure.

Holdback dad, with the season being cancelled, hold him back again. Make him 2 to 3 years older than everyone. Who cares that the other kids are 7. As long as your kid dominates, that’s all that matters.

I actually saw this question on an exam.
Which is the sleazy way for a youth lax player to strive for excellence?

A. To practice really hard and often
B. To try to line up your child with fantastic coaching.
C. To try to line up your child to play on a really good team, playing with very good players.
D. To make your child older than everybody else.
I need help with this answer. This a tough question.

All the other responses are spot on however I'll keep things simple and just call you a BadPerson....because thats what you are...an Door_Open_And'n BadPerson.

Holdbacks prevalent in which towns... Huntington, CSH, Manhasset... where else?

E. Play within the rules/guidelines & don't complain & make excuses when you lose a competition.

Correct. Just because you chose not to hold your kid back, doesn't make it wrong. Its not like anyone is forging birth certificates or lying about ages. The rules allow for this and has been done for years. There are many reasons to hold your child back and sports just happens to be a perk that comes with that choice. A

Think most of this was slowly exiting the sport but will now make its move back with their being so much uncertainty with recruiting and players allowed another season

Kids will win competitions and lose competitions. That’s the beauty of youth sports. Almost all parents who played sports and know sports would agree to this. Then you have that percentage of people who just don’t understand it. Probably 20 percent. No matter how many times people try to explain it, they still can’t grasp it. If I played kids younger than me in organized sports as a kid. My dad and brothers would have laughed at me. They would have made fun of me. Hey way to go Johnny great game. I can hear them now saying, why don’t you play kids your own age. Lol. You know what, they would have been absolutely correct. Now in today’s society,Youth lacrosse, kids, little, little, kids, there are parents who actually do this. They use US lacrosse guidelines to tell them what’s the right and wrong thing to do. Any person with a brain knows what’s right and what’s not right. Keep hiding behind that it’s “within the guidelines” your kids will go far in life with guidelines like that. I’ll stick to the common sense guideline.

85% of commenters agree. So why are there so many former lacrosse playing dads that still continue to push this. I know - it’s the mom’s right? The moms want to hold back the kids for social reasons, right? Dads want them to play on their age

Well said but in Maryland that just doesnt work as far as brains are concerned and right and wrong. There is a heard mentality with holdbacks/prefirsts/reclassed. So many that they all convince themselves that it is the right thing to do. It is pathetic at times to hear them justify it. I would rather them just say, my kid gets an advantage others dont and leave it at that.

Frankly the worst offenders are the private school players whose school all teach Character Education. LOL.

BY FAR, the worst offenders are private school players. They probably account for > 95% of holdbacks here. And they tend to be concentrated across 6-10 travel teams. But most of these travel teams are the best-known teams (Crabs, Madlax, 91MD, DC Express, FCA, Hawks). It doesn't help these programs tend to win a lot (in no small part because they attract holdbacks) and outside of their own teams they don't have great reputations. Heck, there are whole forums on here about how bad Madlax, Crabs, and FCA are.

While there is a large contingent of parents who complain about this phenomenon, the rest of us (whose kids go to public school on age and will get more academic scholarship money going to a D3 school to play lacrosse than most of those holdbacks getting athletic aid to play lacrosse at D1 schools), simply realize that our kids will get better playing against older kids. We've come to accept that this is just the way it is until there's some impetus to change.

From the parent of an on age kid. Get over it. It's not changing. Would rather see my kid want to compete and be up for the challenge than worry about a convenient excuse.

It’s not changing, now with this pandemic, forget about it. Kids missing a year, it’s double holdback time the next few years. It was a circus, now it’s going to be a complete unorganized mess. Crazy parents holding their kids back will even be worse than before. It’s ridiculous. At the end of this, the funny part is if he is lucky, he will work a lax camp and make 500 bucks a week. Play professional and make 400 bucks a week. Lots of people will look back when it’s all over and say, why was I such a wack job parent. Why did I hold my kid back twice. Why did my kid graduate college at 25. What was the purpose? What was the benefit? There will be no answer for you.

Yes, But for a few years that Double/Single Holdback was King of the Hill ! Running over those younger players in youth , being the oldest player on his High School team, and then finally playing a niche sport where the most fans you get in college may be the parents and 50-60 fans if you are lucky. As you graduate with that Communication degree, the world is yours! Yep, it was worth it .

Or the parent will say wow my kid was young for his age and now he is on age and got accepted into brown. He played 2 years at brown and then got injured and quit the game but stayed at brown made amazing friends and got a spectacular education at school he would not have gotten into without lacrosse and is going to the Kellogg school of management at northwestern. Will soon be graduating and making a lot more than 500 a week. Just saying ;-). But keep complaining parents, it’s a good read.

Wait, what? I thought LI didn't do holdbacks and only complained that any tall, fast Maryland layer must be a holdback...

Chances are he would have got into Brown being normal age. My mother graduated an ivy at 22 years old. Obviously you didn’t go to a Brown if you can’t see the point that was being made.

There are absolutely no holdbacks at Huntington high school, I can tell you that! I think you're confusing St. Anthony's being listed as in Huntington. St. Anthony's is notorious with CoachC being there as well as academic grades being padded.

CSH, Manhasset, West Islip, Ward Melville, Mt Sinai, Syosset, Port, Pequa, yes....absolutely. Huntington, that's hysterical!

I dont know anything about LI HS lacrosse, but I have heard many comments on the sidelines from LI youth lacrosse parents about good players that are taller, faster or better than their players being a holdback. Seems like that is their first thought rather than there may be a player or two or three that is better than their kid.

I watched and listened to a LI Head Coach coach walk past an opposing team this fall and openly express giving up before they stepped on the field because the other team were "men" and it "was not fair or right", Call BS, say what you will, but it literally left me speechless and sad for the kids playing on his team

There are no holdbacks at WM. If you think holding your kid out with a birthday between Sept 1 and Dec 1 in kindergarten you are right, we might have 1 or 2. Other then that we don't have players repeat grades

Why is the holdback any different than the on age in this scenario?

I think the point he is making is getting a college degree and playing lacrosse in front of 290 fans can probably be accomplished by playing on age.

Yes, But for a few years that Double/Single Holdback was King of the Hill ! Running over those younger players in youth , being the oldest player on his High School team, and then finally playing a niche sport where the most fans you get in college may be the parents and 50-60 fans if you are lucky. As you graduate with that Communication degree, the world is yours! Yep, it was worth it .

And to continue the story your son, who rode the bench in high school, goes to some liberal arts D3 college in the NE that costs you $60k per year so he continue to ride the pine in the same niche sport and gets a similarly watered down degree. The world is his! Yep it was all worth it.....

Come on man, can you please stop? Your story and the one I added to it are both incredibly insulting and obtuse. How about the kids have a memorable youth, go to a great college of their choosing based upon their academic and extra-curricular activities, are blessed to play a sport they have passion for at a level they aspire to play, get the benefit of caring coaches and committed teachers, create many long term friendships, earn a valuable degree and become productive members of the community? This indeed happens for student athletes who graduate h/s at 17, 18 and 19. My son experienced this outcome, employees of mine have experienced this outcome and many friends of mine have experienced this outcome. Can you please all stop flinging mud at each other on this decisive topic??